ᴚʎɐu

when I was three I told my mom that I wanted to become a garbageman. I did not achieve my dreams.

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

It says I’m serious, but I like to party.

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

@evening_cawfee My ankles need that sweet sweet freedom.

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

After my exhaustive two day review I can safely say that Georgia fans are much better tippers than Ole Miss fans.

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

@evening_cawfee It was good stuff.

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

The best part about the hire is how upset Ole Miss fans are. A true chefs kiss.

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

@SolomonRDavid

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

Angst filled teenager renaissance Noodle.

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

On purpose renaissance noodle.

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

Accidental Renaissance Noodle

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

His name is Noodle and I love him.

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

🥹🥹🥹

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

GUESS WHO IS ON THE LIST FOR A GOLDEN RETRIEVER SERVICE PUPPY!

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

I have no greater joy in the world than laughing at first world problems being someone’s personal tragedy.

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

At the point of studying burnout that I just forgot the word for scissors and after a few seconds asked if anyone knew where the snippy snips were while making the finger snip motion with my hands. No one else is here.

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

Harry Potter is a shit friend.

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

Happy thanksgiving to everyone except people who already put their Christmas tree up.

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

@CharmerCarolina The Speed Racer movie.

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

Will I fight three Vietnam draft dodgers that describe people who got drafted as “idiots who are too dumb to get out of it”

Stay tuned to find out.

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

Well a guy was stabbed outside my buddy’s apartment. What gave it away was a very Chappellesque scream of “ahhhh, ahhhh; I’ve been stabbed”

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

@problempastries @adanooope This was brilliant. Good callback.

[ᴚʎɐu @DocNotDoctor]

@__hannah_yo @adanooope I’m Chad heaven the raindrops taste like Whiteclaws