Tireless in nest-feathering for our NHS. Named Britain's biggest grifter by Forbes. "Non-profit" beneficiary. I am a Doctor, but not doing anything useful.
As a prominent Doctor, I am often asked:
"Doctor, for whom will you be voting on May 7th?"
The simple answer is of course
"My bank account, darling" xx 💚
@TimesRadio@DaleVince@Peter_Conradi If you’re going to have strong opinions on the climate catastrophe, the bare minimum requirement is better hair than this. I don’t make the rules, I just diagnose the audacity.
Jeremy, Darling...
If you ever felt inclined to remember us in your will, I promise we’d turn it into something loudly, chaotically, and unapologetically good.
No refugee underfunded a hospital. No refugee closed a school. No refugee gave tax breaks to the rich.
Instead of scapegoating refugees, let's tackle the real problem: an unjust economic system that concentrates wealth in the hands of the few.
@UKLabour Euuurr!!! No matter how important you think you are—minister, mogul, or self-appointed emperor of a very small and unimpressive domain—there is simply no excuse for looking tatty. xx 💙👜
@RachelReevesMP Ah, Rachel Reeves, speaking of “the power of procurement” as if it’s some grand economic lever and not simply the sacred art I have been perfecting since birth. 👜
You go on about public value...
I’ll be in my lair, procuring things the Treasury doesn’t have categories for.
Procurement? Darling, I once acquired a taxidermied peacock, three identical kettles, and a man named Clive in a single afternoon. No tender process. No oversight. Just vibes and an untraceable card. xx 💙💙
I’ve long believed in the power of procurement.
It can strengthen Britain's critical industrial resilience as part of what I call 'securonomics'.
And applying a new 'public interest test' for contracting decisions will strengthen our public services.
https://t.co/debZopNtTm
@LeeHurstComic When you lot go full feral like this, you end up making genuine, hand-working, National Health Service-adjacent fundraisers look like grifters by association. Like me actually grafting for hospital kits and patient support ("etc") getting splashed with the same chaotic energy xx
@RichardBurgon Second, I have consulted my VERY IMPORTANT friends (they were loud about this) and they said: if your cause is so pure, why are you crowdsourcing like a haunted GoFundMe goblin? Hmm?? The energy is… off. The aura is… transactional.
Beat it, amateur xx 💙💙
@RichardBurgon First of all you do NOT get to play saintly courier of “tonnes of aid” while passing the digital donation hat around to people who were just minding their business. MY supporters are here for NHS-adjacent vibes and enlightenment👜—not to bankroll your geopolitical field trips.
@Femi_sorry Please don't try to park your 'tank' on my drive, Femi. Or else you really will be "sorry".
There's only room for one NHS-adjacent campaigner here. Thank you xx 💙
@darrengrimes Darling, I don't think he can focus on anything with those cheap Specsavers bins! @DavidClulow would you please take pity on the man! xx 👓💙
Darling, no!
Kindly send large denomination notes of all kinds to yours truly instead. Phil has appalling taste.
Dr. Juju Patterson
53 Montpellier Villas
Cayman Islands
If you find yourself in possession of new bank notes that you find unacceptable, post them to
Phil Myers
53, I'll ave em Street
Prickly Bottom 3
Hurts
FU2
@GiveUsAQuid Oh really! Dr. Juju—that would be me, darling—doesn’t need to worry about piddly little expenses like newspaper subscriptions. Complimentary, darling. My life is about luxury, while you’re out there counting pennies for your oh-so-precious copy of The Guardian—how quaint! xx 💙
£2! I’ve seen loose change under a car seat with more commitment. Don’t tell me the purse only opens that far while the rest of the wallet is on a spa retreat. Absolute nonsense. If you’re going to give, GIVE. If not, at least don’t pretend you’ve moved mountains with bus fare.
Apparently we are ONLY £751 away from the crowdfunding target which means we are painfully close to unlocking all the extremely important, absolutely necessary things I need to spend money on immediately. xx
Far right trolls are saying JuJu deletes evidence of grifting upon completion of her holid... campaign crowd funders🚨🚨🚨
This one has an innocent explanation. Everyone has deleted personal items from their Amazon order history, right? 😘🍆😮💙