DrMeg

Baby doctor, dog mom, cheese enthusiast. Vaccinate your kids, spay/neuter your pets. Don’t @ me.

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

I swear to god living in a swing state during an election year is like the 8th circle of Hell. Between the spam calls and texts, and the incessant commercials it is non-freaking stop.

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

My husband just sighed deeply and paused the TV show he was watching when I asked him to look at the tissue I blew my nose into. 🥰🤧

#ThisIsWhatMarriageIs

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

I don’t understand. Are we talking to the players while they’re in the field now?? God forbid Stott had to make a big play while the announcers are yapping in his ear.

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

I feel bad for everyone who asks me “How are you feeling” these days because I am absolutely compelled to share the details of my debilitating pregnancy-related reflux, and now we’re all suffering.

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

My Ob told me I need to start gaining more weight. Say less, lady.

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

When 3/4 of the group text is pregnant and none of you can be trusted to grocery shop. 🤣🤣🤣

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

I just wanna know why is Instagram trying so hard to sell me maternity rompers? The LAST thing I want is to have to get fully naked every time* I have to pee.

*Which is constantly… because I’m pregnant.

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

My husband just announced, apropos of nothing, “I think this is my year of pants.”

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

Omg someone set the thermostat in the call room to 76 what in the fresh hell…

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

Nothing irritates me more in football than when the refs put the ball down at an arbitrary spot and then bring out chains to measure that random spot. We can do better. We have the technology.

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

When you have a particularly hard shift and you text your work besties and they immediately validate your feelings and make you feel seen. 🥰

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

2am chronicles: laying awake in my call room staring at the ceiling because I can’t sleep thanks to a muscle in my leg that hasn’t stopped twitching for almost 30 minutes.

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

Just said *out loud* “I care deeply about people’s bowel movements. That’s what makes me a good doctor.”

It’s true. No one gets constipated on my watch.

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

I talk to my mom on the phone multiple times a week, and if we ever go 3 days without talking she gets really worried.

Meanwhile, my dad and I talk almost exclusively via text (or when my mom uses speakerphone). I just called and he picked up with “Hey is everything ok?”

🤣🤣🤣

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

My husband left a singing toy in our toddler’s crib last night.

For ONE HOUR this morning this child was not awake enough to sit up, but pressed the buttons repeatedly while we listened in horror via video monitor.

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

You can always tell when @BrettPatrick_ is out for dinner and I’m home alone because I eat something insane (clam chowder), watch something embarrassing (Teen Mom), and become one with the couch.

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

In an effort to help our 14-month-old understand concepts, @BrettPatrick_ has been utilizing what he calls The Hat Method, because she knows that hats go on our heads. Ex. “Shoes are feet hats.” One of the more sensible examples…

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

“I’ve told you, I never cared for Diane Keaton.” -@BrettPatrick_ completely unprompted.

Followed by “the only thing I enjoyed her in was The Godfather. And she was miserable the whole time, which made me happy.”

🤷🏻‍♀️

[DrMeg @Doctor_Meg]

Watching the #USOpen with @BrettPatrick_ and my dad because ya know, Father’s Day. And I swear to god a caddy just pointed to the hole as if to say “try to hit the ball in here” and I’m straight up cackling.