Oluwaseyifunmi

BTech.(FUTA), Change Agent, friseur, Chelseafan, Boxing and UFC Lover, Swimming as an hobby.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

Instead texting to tell him that you're hungry, or craving for shawarma or cold stone.

Tell him that you feel like cooking something for him & coming over to his place.

He'll eat your food, eat you, & give you the money to fulfill your cravings without feeling irritated.

End.

[YOM🗣️ @ThaBoyYom]

This simply means everything a ‘Wife’ is, can be outsourced.

Now how can you outsource a provider ?

Pay someone to provide for you let us see.

[Sir Dickson @Wizarab10]

Privilege is such an interesting thing I often find myself thinking about. We do not ask for the life we have, and that is why I'm very mindful of it. You often find it a lot in my writing.

Last week, my cleaner told me on Monday(2 days ago) was her birthday. I asked her what age we are celebrating and she said 33. Epiphany hit me that my agemate is my cleaner. I wore a wry smile as I nodded my head and told her to remind me on Monday so she could get her gift.

I then went to my room to deal with the epiphany of privilege. In another universe, that could easily have been me.

[Sir Dickson @Wizarab10]

There are men who pray for breakthrough because they feel that their woman has tried by being with them while they are broke. Talmbout, "this woman don try for me. I no fit wait to make money make I spoil am. I no deserve am. I don't know what she is doing with a broke nigga like me."

The woman is broker than him. His parents and siblings never chop well or pay fees but na woman you wan make money for.

Are there women who pray for God to bless them so they can spoil their man because he has tried by being with her and carrying her bills, feeling she doesn't deserve him?

[Oluwaseyifunmi @Dodo_lee_]

@Aynoniii Agba 7🙌
Your record deh Adeniran and Victory.

[👑S.A.L.A.K.O🕊 @UnkleAyo]

To the little boy from Rosario 🇦🇷,

One who was once too quiet, too fragile, too weak, too small - with a body that betrayed him but with dreams strong enough to power through.

The little boy from Rosario who left home before he was ready, burdened with the hopes of millions before he was old enough to carry his own.

To that little boy, I write as tonight might be your final dance. 🇦🇷 🇪🇸

You conquered Europe, conquered every record that they said would never fall - to the world, you were an undisputed genius but everytime you put on the Argentine camiseta, he felt like a curse trailed you.

One final lost after another. What mattered to you the most, to bring joy to the cot that cradled you was constantly out of your reach.

Every defeat you suffered kept reminding us, that maybe, you're just as human as we are.

Every time you cried from the bench with swollen feet, we watched and are reminded, maybe you're just as human.

You retired and we thought your story was over - we could still make peace with the joy you've given us from club spectacle.

Like the Phoenix that you are, you rose from the ashes that was designed to bury you - you walked back into storms that was orchestrated to sink you.

My dear little boy from Rosario 🇦🇷,

you walked back to the pitch - fingers pointed to your grandmother who first believed, doubled the joy you've always brought us, fulfilled your lifelong dreams, made new records and broke your own records.

I'm not even Argentine but you've spurred me to permanently chant:

"Soy hincha de la Selección,
La aliento con el corazón
Ganamos la tercera con Lionel
Queremos ser campeones otra vez"

Tonight is not just another final, Muchacho. Tonight is not just about the hunt for another trophy, Lionel.

Tonight is about the compression of a 2-decade story line from 2006 to 2026.

All the tears, heartbreaks, all the doubts & how you repeatedly resurrected with no points left to prove.

We might not have existed in the times of Shakespeare, Alexander the Great, Michangelo, Plato, Isaac Newton - but it's been the absolute privilege of our lives to have existed while you did, the absolute honor of our lives to have been your audience.

Long after stadiums rot into the ground in silence, and goals get forgotten - we will always remember how you made us feel.

One day when we're all frail and rottening in our grandpa era, our grandchildren will feel electric surges just from touching us - and it will be difficult for us to explain that it was your gift to us 70 years back.

Maybe your last dance, maybe one more dance - but we're privileged to be dancing with you again, Mi Capitan.

🐐 🇦🇷

[OLUWADAMILARE 🦀🪖 @vibewithdammy1]

Their’s was truth in your talk,”-MKO don save some guys out there 👏🏿❤️

[👑S.A.L.A.K.O🕊 @UnkleAyo]

Nothing wey we no use this man heartbreak dance that year. 😂😭

Person dey crash out, boys dey tear galala.

[Oluwaseyifunmi @Dodo_lee_]

@UnkleAyo See how his teammates troupe out for him when he was fouled.
More blue than white in a second.
That’s real love and loyalty no PR or ego can buy 🫡

[KDB. 👑 @MirthCity]

Date cancelled. He thinks the World Cup is rigged for Argentina.

[Akinloy @whaleskyd]

Apart from double marking Messi on the pitch, opponents should stop letting him look up to the sky when he’s losing.

[Oluwaseyifunmi @Dodo_lee_]

@General_D__ Agenda Omo Werey 🤣

[👑S.A.L.A.K.O🕊 @UnkleAyo]

Ronaldo is NOT stronger than Messi.

Are you people mad? Did you think I stuttered?

There's no portion of this clip that Cristiano wouldn't be lying down face flat to the ground.

Please dead that "Ronaldo is hardworking" talk to undermine Messi's grind. Don't annoy me.

[Oluwaseyifunmi @Dodo_lee_]

@AsisatOshoala @_AsiwajuLerry It’s always hard hate watching Messi

[Oluwaseyifunmi @Dodo_lee_]

@Aynoniii Look the name, na your brother.
Make una go settle am for family house 😅

[Oluwaseyifunmi @Dodo_lee_]

@_AsiwajuLerry hate watch on another level 😅

[RecruitmentPQ @RecruitmentPq]

CAREER WARNINGS FOR YOUR THIRTIES. Bookmark them, and thank yourself at forty.

[@𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗷𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗯𝗼𝘆 @OneJoblessBoy]

"Messi or Ronaldo?"

M.I Abaga:

[Oluwaseyifunmi @Dodo_lee_]

@esckla Make e papa no catch you oo
🤣

[👑S.A.L.A.K.O🕊 @UnkleAyo]

As you're setting your own records, he is breaking your own records, setting his own records, and breaking his own records.

I might not haved lived in the times of Shakespeare, Aurelius, Alexander the Great or Napoleon - but it has been the honor of my life to call you my GOAT.