Jeff🪩

picky bitch with a shitty attitude | $jefflitty

[Jeff🪩 @DogUnderATable]

Viewer beware........... there's a bug in your hair

[trash jones @jzux]

imagine if we finally got a song of the summer and it’s Rock Lobster by the b-52s

[fleeopatra @fleeoo]

I’m wherever the tres leches cake at

[Jeff🪩 @DogUnderATable]

I’m Bart Simpson who the Leviticus are you?

[Adam Aaronson @aaaronson]

DO NOT HOLD DOORS has no vowels besides O, and its word lengths increase sequentially

[linds @hotcheetofing3r]

the current hot dog obsession is giving 2013 bacon-mania

[Oz "Karen Plankton Superfan" Pardo☮ @OzPardo6]

Fuck it, here's Homer³

[gore vidal sassoon @GilroyMusic]

Charli xcx's autotune fell out of her purse and Julian Casablancas picked it up and kept it for himself like a fuckin' rat

[Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit]

Love how this Fast & Furious-themed menu at CityWalk just absolutely gives up on naming the last item

[Jeff🪩 @DogUnderATable]

Me asking @mollyohhh if she wants to go to karaoke tonight.

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Please tonight queen?

[sara “THE RED SACRAMENT” hinkley @boneysoups]

A nice sandwich is sliced tomato, mayo, salt, pepper, sharp white cheddar and Dijon mustard on sourdough if you’re interested in that

[pavlo @LaughterHaver]

strange that they’re called “light beers” despite activating the darkness within me …

[mysillycomics | Silly Sturgeon Plush @mysillycomics]

how to have a sturgeon summer:
1. become quite large
2. use your barbels to find prey among the gravel along the bottom of the river
3. extend your siphon-like mouth to eat small fish, shellfish, and crustaceans
4. launch yourself out of the water and make a big splash for fun

[Jeff🪩 @DogUnderATable]

@GroovyBruce that was u in the coffin wasn’t it.

[audrey @phlegmme]

Choosing a good karaoke song isn’t about what other people might want to hear. Their needs should never even cross your mind

[bri 💌 daughter from hell @brisversion]

hayley williams and margaret qualley don’t let your 30s stop you from finding each other…

[任天堂サポート @nintendo_cs]

⚠️夏の車内は非常に高温になります。Nintendo Switch 2 や Nintendo Switch、ニンテンドー3DSなど、バッテリーが入った機器を車の中に放置しないようご注意ください。

安全にご使用いただくための情報は、こちらのページでご確認ください。https://t.co/miS5tb8K92

[Jeff🪩 @DogUnderATable]

I’M JUDY. I HAVE CAFE. COME HAVE BREAKFAST.

[地蔵 @boketezizou]

このサングラスで誰を思い浮かべるかで、世代がバレます

[Jeff🪩 @DogUnderATable]

Buying the fuckass meta glasses and putting tape over the cameras to let everyone know I’m definitely not a pervert

[yoshimi battles video game addiction @nise_yoshimi]

me suffering the mummy's curse: aaaaahhhhhh!

the pharaoh: see i knew you wouldn't like it

me: I thought it would be sexy or something!

the pharaoh: well it isn't