Dom C.

When people get a little too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.

[Dom C. @DomC_]

Jim carrey should have won an Oscar for the grinch don’t @ me

[Jim Stewartson, Decelerationist 🇨🇦🇺🇦🇺🇸 @jimstewartson]

Imagine you’re a conman. You’ve said for years you have MAGIC BEANS. You’ve shown lots of REALLY BIG normal beans that you made in your lab.

“Almost there!” you say—over and over.

Now, you have *almost* convinced the villagers to give you TWO TRILLION DOLLARS.

But while the beans keep getting bigger. No magic yet…

What do you do? That money is SO CLOSE.

“I know!” you think, “instead of MAGIC beans, lets’s make them KILLER BEANS.”

So you pump up your beans up SUPER BIG and you say: “I’m sorry, but these BEANS ARE GETTING BIGGER ON THEIR OWN!” You threaten people that if they don’t give you the money, the beans may get into the WRONG HANDS. They might get BIGGER THAN THE EARTH!

The villagers, aghast, run to and fro arguing whether the beans are going to kill everyone or make them all rich.

“Well, either way,” the idiots in the village conclude, “We’d better give him the money.”

[HEAT on FanDuel Sports Network @FanDuelSN_Heat]

Kel’el Ware (@KelelWare) names his NBA Mount Rushmore on ‘Miami Mic’d Up’ with @jeremytache:

• Wilt Chamberlain
• Kobe Bryant
• Anthony Edwards
• Bam Adebayo (@Bam1of1)

Gotta love rookies… 😂

Full podcast 🎧 https://t.co/jKUZGw12Vk

[Dom C. @DomC_]

@JohnLeFevre Moment of silence for the places that get bad reviews

[Mr. Beezy 🤬 @BreadmanBeezy]

Quinton Mitchell and Cooper Dejean coming to save Philly

[Rich Eisen @richeisen]

Nine children.

Nine children who went to a parade to celebrate their Super Bowl team.

Nine children now being treated for gunshot wounds @ChildrensMercy

When are we going to collectively realize there’s a gun problem in our country and do something sensible for our kids?

[Mike Flynn @MFlynnGT]

I’ve never made a political social media post in my life, and I’m 100% comfortable posting this. It’s not political. I’m posting it because my wife is a teacher. And because we have 2 school-aged kids. And because I’m proud to work with @CoachBrentKey and call him a friend.

[Ethan Bock @ethanbock_]

and then what happened?

[Coach Pat Ruley @FollowTheRuless]

Clip of the year! Love my dogs. Hopkins is an elite team and they threw some big punches. At the end of the day our guys kept countering and in the biggest moments didn’t flinch! Culture over everything! 🐺🐺🐺 #WildDogs #EarsTucked

[Bruce Irvin @BIrvin_WVU11]

Kansas is a basketball school 😩😩🤦🏾‍♂️

[Dom C. @DomC_]

Preach

[max homa @Maxhoma]

I watch too much football to be this bad at betting on it

[Luke Bailey @imbadatlife]

Netflix: £83.88 / year
The Times: £311.88 / year

[kel$ @kocaina_]

sneezing while driving is INSANE

[Eers & Beers @eersandbeers]

In honor of college basketball conference championship day, just a friendly reminder that nothing will ever top WVU getting introduced to Biggie in The Garden with an entire starting 5 from NYC/NJ before going on to beat Georgetown and win the Big East. #HailWV

[Rob Perez @WorldWideWob]

how was Steph & Ayesha’s game show not the worst part of the night

[House @HousefromDC]

That dunk contest was so bad I had to turn on the Olympics

[Sheets & Giggles @SheetsGiggles]

If @MichaelRyanRuiz honors his bet with @Stugotz790 and shaves his head, we’ll give away free $50 Sheets & Giggles gift cards to anyone who likes and retweets this 💰🛏

If he doesn’t, we get free advertising, and you get nothing 💸

In other words… it’s a heady play 🪒🧔‍♂️

[Dom C. @DomC_]

#CNNNYE

[Barstool Philly @BarstoolPhilly]

The Philly Fan Hall of Fame Inductees:

(thread)

[Bleeding Green Nation @BleedingGreen]

I want to thank the Lions for reminding me it could always be worse