The Dominant Need

18+. £25.00 initial DM tribute. Professional Dominant. Daddy Dom. Findom. Sub Trainer. Verbal Abuser. Master of the craft. UK based. International in reach.

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

A change this morning:

For the foreseeable future, I am instigating an initial tribute fee of £25.00 in relation to DM's.

I've avoided doing this deliberately, but some of you truly want to take up my valuable time without sending.

To those who don't do that? This is on the timewasters and freeloaders.

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

@cleoisonmain @sadnsalty777 Actually, I like to travel, internationally. My subs see my face, but given I like to use my passport, I prefer not to post my face.

Once you give up your currency in that way, it doesn't come back.

Again, something well known in the industry. That instagram won't tell you.

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

I'm picking on a feeling in this space that a lot of subs are tired of the way findom looks right now.

I've been sitting back and watching the space for a while, looking after my own, and I have some observations.

They'll be getting put together over the next few days, and if you are genuinely interested in things being better I suggest you watch this space.

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

@GuntherEagleman @NYCMayor You'd be amazed at how many right wing conservative men are closeted, Gunther. Not for nothing does Grindr crash during the RNC events.

Or, perhaps you wouldn't. Protest less pumpkin, it's a very obvious overcompensation.

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

@MasterJackk1 Do you have a preference for SSC, RACK, or PRICK, my friend?

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

Whilst I agree with the sentiment of the idea, here, sadly, I don't thinl it reflects reality.

Consent has to be discussed, clearly, and, as you put it performatively.

Why?

Because, unlike you, or I or any of the other genuine Dominants or Dommes out there, we are outnumbered by those that perform kink, yet do not understand it. Who seek to profit, without seeking to learn, who talk the talk, yet stumble, abuse, or abandon, all too readily.

Discussing consent has become far more necessary than it used to, as far more individuals are involved in the scene.

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

My mood today is this. Start your day with it.

Then be a good slut and send to thank me.

https://t.co/8cBH4YZmAJ

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

@goonmorebro Given that - despite plenty saying otherwise - a lot of kink is routed in childhood trauma, I'd argue that SSRI's wouldn't work.

Complex trauma impacts on brain development and wiring, NOT chemical imbalances.

SSRI's are famously ineffective in treating developmental trauma.

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

It's funny seeing so many 'Goddesses' all calling out the director of Euphoria.

By all means critique the show, it isn't at all representative of the adult industry, but the fact they all seem to want to name drop SL smacks of them all secretly hoping he might be a whale.

Highly amusing.

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

One of mine is particularly masochistic.

He's been gooning his stick off for the last few hours, to the point it's raw.

I've said he needs to go harder, Much harder and then put on his cage with the inverted spikes.

Naturally he has agreed, just to please me.

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

Read this by @HadrianTemple

Like myself, he's a very thoughtful and considered Dominant. What he has written here is important indeed.

[Hadrian Temple @HadrianTemple]

I wrote a whole blog post about the 'fake aesthetics and authority' thing. #bdsm #kink #findom

https://t.co/uSQbTByILY

[Hadrian Temple @HadrianTemple]

I wrote a whole blog post about the 'fake aesthetics and authority' thing. #bdsm #kink #findom

https://t.co/uSQbTByILY

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

@HadrianTemple I couldn't agree more. Frankly, I think that findom has reached a crisis point.

So the likes of you and I do need to speak out.

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

@HadrianTemple I may need to write a companion piece - when a little less savvy b and limoncello infused.

Consider me inspired.

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

@MaleFindomPromo It's been promoted by many as an 'easy fix' for years.

Show some skin, and hurl a loser-based insult, and suddenly you're a findom.

Which, as you know is pile of crap.

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

I'm feeling somewhat under the weather today. So all day, my standing instruction is simple:

Send to make me feel better.

https://t.co/jJl44ilgu9

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

Ch_***, you have my attention.

Approach.

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

I'm a movie nut, it has to be said, and a child of the 80's.

This was added to my collection today.

£25.00 is an easy way for you to fund my interests, and show me my needs are a priority of yours.

See to it, chop chop.

https://t.co/jJl44ilgu9

[The Dominant Need @Dominant_Need]

The 'submissive doom loop' is a frustrating thing for any Dom.

Often, a sub is using kink as a way to process or re-evaluate a past relationship or difficult experience. A lot of the time without realising.

After the high has gone, that sub will then apply the emotions from the original negative experience to the dynamic and the Dom, drop like a stone, and then run away.

The need will crop up again, they'll find another Dom, then rinse, and repeat.

Like a disfunctional Sam Beckett (kudos if you get the reference), they will get stuck in that cycle, too afraid to truly give up control, or let go and trust the Dom.

How does it change? Well, for some it doesn't. But for those with the capacity, it requires you to do some things a little differently.

Firstly, be aware of your drivers, the 'why' of your kinks. You'll do a lot better if you understand what need is being served by them.

Secondly, a big one. VET YOUR DOM! If your stuff is big and heavy, don't chuck it at someone who has no clue, and little to no experience, they are bound to fail. Or, they won't care about you succeeding, and will chew you up, not caring about the damage. Be discerning, believe you deserve skill. The difference will be massive.

Thirdly (fourthly?), you have to open up and you have to trust. Expecting someone to lead you through minefield without telling what type of mines they are, and even that there is a minefield in the first place is doomed to failure.

Lots to consider, I know. But speaking as someone who knows, real, satisfying kink, requires introspection, and work. I have faith in you, and it is possible.

Anyway, those are my thoughts over coffee for the day.

Be good. Send and serve hard.