Dan Paloski

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

@AmericanAir This is the first time I've flown American. So how can I sit next to my wife on this flight?

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

@AmericanAir I just checked my wife and I in for a flight tomorrow and we're not sitting together. How does this happen? I realize I bought the basic economy fair and everything is extra, but come on. I have to pay extra to sit next to my wife on a flight? Really?

[John Oliver @iamjohnoliver]

I'm in a public beef with an unsanctioned Japanese otter. I needed this.

[Silversun Pickups @SSPU]

We’re pleased to announce our new album Widow’s Weeds is out June 7, and our new single “It Doesn’t Matter Why” is out now!

Pre-order/save and watch the official video here: https://t.co/ClhLMGgPrY

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

👍 #TuckerCarlsonFucksHisRoomba

[Randalltime @RandallTime]

If the Cleveland Cavaliers win the 2018 NBA finals I’ll buy everyone who retweet’s this a jersey...

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

5 Finger Death Hawaiian Punch #RuinMetal @midnight

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

Kit Kat Stevens #CandyCelebs @midnight

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

There's nothing my dong can't fix for you baby #RuinA90sSong @midnight

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

Much lighter wallet #ChristmasIn3Words @midnight

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

Baby Got Bacterial Meningitis #LessSexySongs @midnight

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

@filming_chicago Possibly. He and a bunch of guys looked like they were heading into elephant & castle for lunch.

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

@filming_chicago I just saw Jason Bateman at Lake and Wabash. In town for the Ozark project?

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

The Creature from Donald Trump's Hair #BadMonsterMovies @midnight

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

@broadwaychicago Have been on TM since 10am. Was choosing own seats when it failed. TM now picking seats. Everyday I've tried come up empty

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

@broadwaychicago I've tried practically every date for 2 Hamilton tix. Would you be able to tell me which dates still have 2 tix available?

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

Tried find seats 4 me option for #HamiltonCHI on bday Oct 22. Waited over an hour. No seats available. @Ticketmaster worst run company ever

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

Want to personally thank @Ticketmaster for ruining my bday. Trying for #HamiltonCHI tix on Oct 22. Pick own seat option goes down, no tix 😂

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

Night Crawler Court #ComicBookTVShows @midnight

[Dan Paloski @Dominatorof1]

@RKadyrov, I think my friend here has your cat #findkadyrovscat @iamjohnoliver