Don Hefty

Stand-Up Comedian • Chef • DJ

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

@swerveconfident Seth looks like money 💴…. Suit was dapper AF.

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

I just wrote a review on Nordic Wave https://t.co/WaBkjVVald via @yotpo

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

@AlexaBliss_WWE 🤣🤣🤣

[Dr. Mindbender @erkeyzoo]

My GF is sad b/c her son moved out.

Me: He’ll be fine. He’s in a gated community, has around the clock security, has roommates & he’s in bed by 11. At least you don’t have to worry about him not eating.

GF: 🤬 he’s in prison

#TacoTuesday
#truestory
#SorryNotSorry

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

Fuckin neighbors truck just ROARED me awake... hey buddy it’s cool if your truck is modified w all the gadgets & doHickies to make it sound like you got a bad ass engine but don’t REV that shit & peel out at 5:45 in the morning you bastard face!

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

I’m super discussed but I can’t stop watching this show!!!! https://t.co/xLHMyFOPJq

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

Well this took a turn into darkness!!! I honestly thought this was going to be a funny compilation of videos of cats being assholes... anyone else? 🐈 — watching Don't Fuck With Cats

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

Is it just me or does anyone else ever lay down in bed after a long day and let out a big ol’ AHHHHHHHH??

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

Jan 30th @ the BREA IMPROV.... get your tickets on the link .... https://t.co/EKo8w2qXVN

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

Hell Yeah. MORBIUS has always been one of my favorite Spider-Man rogues turned Anti-Hero. Count me in for this ride... take my 💰 https://t.co/r8oqpAGtQZ

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

Easy peezy... 100% lemon squeezy! https://t.co/V6966Je52I

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

You know I like you but you tell me “you wish you could find a guy like me” but ok just not me. Ok cuz that makes sense 😐🤷🏻‍♂️

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

My bank account has me grounded until February... it sent me to my room right after New Year! 😐

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

The hardest part about dieting is dieting ... 🤔🤷🏻‍♂️

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

Time to KILL this Monday!
Good Morning folks!
Have a great day!

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

Captains log January 3rd 2020, almost the 4th... the neighbors don’t seem to be running out of fireworks. I honestly think they make them in the garage....

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

So I’ve been watching these Christmas movies lately & I’ve noticed that in the romantic movies when the girl finds true love at the end, it usually constitutes her cheating on her significant other. Well Merry Christmas. 🎄

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

And just like that January 1st is over. Only 365 days until next year, because remember this year is a leap year!

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

I just realized that I’ve NEVER been to Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament
🤷🏻‍♂️

[Don Hefty @DonHefty]

Cargo pants are still in style right? I sure hope so cuz I just bought some... For a friend of course!!