Donovan Stroud

Comedian, musician, actor, dancer, pro rock your sock off correspondent

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

Amazing that bars will ask for your ID, but not if you're a raging alcoholic. Like I can just go to a bar and they'll serve me. Wild

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

Apparently, CyberTrucks have a difficult time maneuvering in cold weather.

Which makes sense why Elon would work with Trump now. Both make it difficult to escape ice.

Thank you

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

@TheBlackCusack Oh yah, war so fun and lucrative

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

@davidbakker7 Grand

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

@davidbakker7 You do 🙇‍♂️

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

@TheBlackCusack Bro gtfo

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

More like Vince Mc Man what the hell

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

TFW you order your friend an Uber for a hookup and realize you just human trafficked

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

Was handed a cinnamon roll as soon as I walked into a house party. I said aren't you such a good hostess. They asked if I was a twinkie. I said nah I enjoy oatmeal cream pies

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

Expired spicy brown mustard is just extra spicy brown mustard

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

God loves you

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

Just got told that even when I’m testing shit out on stage I’m funnier than most other comedians so you all can go fuck yourself I’m the best ever

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

Wi-Fi names can be entertaining

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

Testing who’s a time traveler with mind reading technology by saying, “Fuck you dork, fuck you dork, fuck you dork..” in my head constantly to them.

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

Sold the Xbox. Big boy time

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

It’s not that I didn’t want to text you back immediately, I just accidentally typed my password in wrong and felt like I didn’t deserve to check my notifications

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

Not gay, but numerous guys have recognized me from the back of my head.

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

Dressing as curtains for Halloween because I always throw shade

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

Delete your dating apps and love Jesus

[Donovan Stroud @DonovanStroud]

Tried to tell them I was on the band guest list, they were like nah you’re on the banned list! 🙃