Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat

~.*◦ tw | edtwt | depressed and disabled | 25 |◦*.~
*ೃ༄ sw 135kg 8/22 *.• ༻ starving era 😎

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

hey, its me. I need to take accountability and embarass myself. I've had a really rough last 7 months and I hadnt noticed it as much as I should have until now. I am a piece of shit and I am sorry, but I have undone all my progress and i am huge again. I promise to do better.

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

After 3 weeks I think im going to have to try to increase my intake to atleast 800 calories per day. I look and feel like im dying. I cant stand and my body is all sorts of colours.

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

Lmaooo i had a hotdog on salad for dinner today 💀 absolutely a crime against humanity but i went to costco and was craaving a hotdog. But this worked. And now my craving is gone 😀 i am disgusting 😀

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

how can i be maintaining and still fainting ⭐️

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

I havent been reading my weights for a while or i'd binge and thought after a week id check and see if i deserved a dragon fruit 😐 only thing i deserve is a rope and a tree

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

12,907 calories under my BMR this week and i still gained

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

I am finally shitting after a week im so excited for the scale to go down a little

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

@cilantrops4 I first got 2 herniated disks and a shortened vertebrae at 18!!!! I was only bmi 25.1 at that point. And they still blamed my weight.... + sciatica at 15yo like....??? DOCTORS FUCKING SUCK ASS. Come in crying in agony as an 18 year old and get told 'go play basketball fatty' 😵

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

got diagnosed with degenerative disk disease AT 25 and 3 protruding disks. Pins and needles both legs. Cant walk some days. Drag my leg like ive had a stroke. Doctor said maybe caused because im overweight. LIKE KILL ME. I CANT MOVE TO EXCERCISE AND I CANT EAT ANY LESS THAN I AMM

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

@vampimarqui bmi 13.4..... wdym some peoples are bmi 20??

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

i ate half and the rest is for tomorrow 🫶🫶⭐️⭐️ im not giving in this time 200cals?

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

omad 🫶 before my spinal nerve block tomorrow im soo anxious 😭 having chicken tonight so maybe i wont faint as much when i have to go out. today was awful i was up and down like a yoyo

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

@kitty24010 it would be less calories if you shared it with me

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

@butimjay_ fuck that looks good 😪

[stupid @gimmickmoder]

how life starts to feel when you finally accept that you're bad for people and by having no friends or partners you're doing everyone a service

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

'maybe you should try counting calories' as if calories arent the only thing i have thought about for the past 12 years ⭐️

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

watching my 600lb life makes me feel worse in the wrong way. do people think i also eat 30kg of food a day because i look like them? i barely eat. wdym they are having 10 eggs, 1kg of bacon, 8 pieces of toast for breakfast and then having brunch

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

'drink water!!!1! you'll lose so much weight 💝'
gained a kg in water weight
pissing every 20 minutes

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

Also turning app notifications on so i stop adhd-forgetting this app exists. Ive been starving the whole time i promise this app just keeps erasing from my memory 🩷

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

unless all this malnutrition caused it

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

'Oh maybe youre counting calories wrong-'

1 salmon fillet. 1-2cups of mix and either lettuce, cabbage, kale, carrot, capsicum, cucumber whatever i have that day
In the previous month I was having cooking a protein and veges every day and gained 7 GOD DAMN KILOS. So fuck that

[Jade ✩ malnourished but still fat @Dontbefatlikeme]

still gaining even though im in a huge deficit. should i quit my 'weight gain side effect' mental health meds orrrr...... its my last resort :D i cant even stand up from the starving and nothing is helping me STOP GAININGGG deficits are a fucking scam im having a menty b about it