Dewey

today is the shadow of tomorrow

[Dewey @Dooowey]

I think I am one of the funniest guys around, period. I’m goofy when I’m out and about, I’m zaney with my friends, and I deliver all the zingers that makes anyone chuckle like they’re watching a Mitch Hedberg special. I wish people would recognize my talent of comedy and love me.

[Dewey @Dooowey]

There’s too many numbers out there. I think there should only be 3 numbers. 1 and 0

[Dewey @Dooowey]

@leyoughh

[Dewey @Dooowey]

@jeff_stank MF POOP

[Dewey @Dooowey]

Pricing at restaurants be like “starting at 9.99” ok sure but I think what really matters is where it ends

[Dewey @Dooowey]

Do you feel old yet? 4/20 was 13 years ago. Let that sink in….

[Dewey @Dooowey]

@jeff_stank Charles Barkley Burger King brisket brunch

[Dewey @Dooowey]

@dolphlundfan Go to hell

[Dewey @Dooowey]

If my gf was 3 inches tall I would build ladders all around our apartment so she could get anywhere

[Dewey @Dooowey]

@jeff_stank OH NO!

[Dewey @Dooowey]

@jeff_stank Or as I like to call it “TUESDAY!”

[Dewey @Dooowey]

Anyone who I’m not looking at might be dead

[Dewey @Dooowey]

Dababy as Mario “let’s go”

[Dewey @Dooowey]

In me are two wolves. One is made of yogurt and the other gogurt

[Dewey @Dooowey]

12 days of Christmas Mr Beast giveaway Christmas special

[Dewey @Dooowey]

There’s too much talking in movies and shows I wish something would happen instead

[Dewey @Dooowey]

@leyoughh

[Dewey @Dooowey]

@alanresnicks Is there a QuickTime hat???

[Dewey @Dooowey]

Your imaginary friend already exists. You just need to look around your house and find Him.

[Dewey @Dooowey]

Who the fuck looked at a boomerang and thought ya I want this back

[Dewey @Dooowey]

@dolphlundfan I like to shake my lexapro bottles as maracas 🤷🏾‍♂️