Doss 🦆

UMHB ‘23

[NBACentel @TheNBACentel]

😭😭😭

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I needed to move a sofa.

I mentioned this to an American. He said, "You know anybody with a truck?"

I did not know anybody with a truck.

He looked at me with real concern. Not pity. Concern. The way you look at a man who has told you he does not have a name.

"You gotta know somebody with a truck."

I asked how one acquires such a person.

He said, "You just do."

This is the third time I have received that answer in this country. It is the answer to everything here. You just do. There is no process. There is only the eventual fact of having.

He said, "Ask Kevin."

I do not know a Kevin. He said Kevin like I should. He said it the way you say a shared uncle.

I met Kevin four days later. Kevin owns a truck. Kevin does not own a truck for himself. Nobody owns a truck for themselves. Kevin owns a truck for a fifteen mile radius.

Inside I said: THIS MAN HAS TAKEN A VOW. HE DID NOT ANNOUNCE IT. HE SIMPLY PURCHASED A BED AND ACCEPTED THE CONSEQUENCES.

Kevin arrived on Saturday. He brought the truck. He also brought a second man.

I had not asked for a second man.

The second man's name is Tony. Tony came because Kevin came. Tony did not know me. Tony did not ask what we were moving. Tony brought gloves.

They moved the sofa in eleven minutes.

I offered them money. Both of them laughed at the same time, which felt rehearsed and was not.

I asked what I owed them.

Kevin said, "Buy the pizza."

That is the price. That is the entire economy. The truck costs one pizza and the pizza is not negotiable and the pizza is also not expensive and everyone knows what size.

Inside I said: THE FEE IS FIXED ACROSS THE ENTIRE NATION AND WAS SET BY NO ONE.

We ate on the floor because the sofa was against the wall and none of us wanted to be the first to sit on it.

Tony told me his daughter plays soccer. I asked if she is good. He said, "She's aggressive."

I still think about that.

Three weeks later, Kevin texted me.

"You free Sunday? Helping Tony move a fridge."

He did not ask if I wanted to. He informed me of a fridge.

Inside I said: I HAVE BEEN CALLED UP. I DID NOT ENLIST. THE PAPERS WERE FILED ON MY BEHALF.

I went. I moved the fridge. I have no truck. I contributed only arms.

Afterward, a man I had never met asked me if I knew anybody with a truck.

I said, "Yeah, I got a guy."

I have a guy.

I am somebody's guy now, too. Tony has told two people about me.

He describes me as "the guy who's strong for his size."

I have never been prouder of a sentence in my life.

[PGA TOUR @PGATOUR]

When your friend asks for a gimme on a 5-footer https://t.co/gTg6VQdeUv

[Texas Rangers @Rangers]

Repost today for a chance to win this Rangers Gameday Sweepstakes presented by @ArenaClub!

[BIG BAD CHUCK ✰ @yawningemoji]

diarrhea would have to be coming out of my eyes for me to switch up on the bell i’m so sorry

[Erling Haaland @Erling]

It followed me home 🦝🤣

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

First poster for ‘SPACEBALLS: THE NEW ONE’.

In theaters on April 23, 2027.

[Erling Haaland @Erling]

Well well well 😂

[Rothmus 🏴 @Rothmus]

Never forget when Joey Chestnut choked out a PETA protester and then continued to win the hot dog eating contest 🐐

[naya ౨ৎ @laylasblossom]

“you deserve way better that that” i don’t even like parmida but her not even being close to melanie yet being honest enough to say this to her (unlike those in the villa) is so real & i will give her that #loveislandusa

[Michael Mando @MandoMichael]

“Let chaos reign in Gotham” #Bane The kid in me rn : 🤓😬 #BatmanKnightfall

[Freddy🇩🇪 @FreddyLA7]

The amount of times we’ve eaten at Taco Bell during this trip already is probably not good…

[leaf @loveyleaf0000]

how did homer have time to write the odyssey between looking after lisa and bart and maggie

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Dez Bryant @DezBryant]

Knowing the Spurs were up in all of the games is why I believe they can do the impossible. Let's go Spurs!

[luna @rluna_777]

Spurs in 7

[Joey 🃏 @AssassinateHate]

Mitch gotta be thankful Fox end of game play distracting everyone from fact he played Wemby 44mins, Keldon 18mins to Carter’s 5 and watched a 20pt lead evaporate to 4 before calling a timeout. A lot of shit went wrong, but that 2nd half was some of the worst coaching I seen.

[Mike 📺 @michaelcollado]

People keep saying it was silent during Scary Movie 6, but the audience in my screening was hootin’ and hollerin’. Idk.

[Doss 🦆 @Dosselbach]

@tedcruz Please don’t show up to any of the games. I would like the Spurs to actually win