Scott Depace

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

I knew the Ugly Meter App was broken when it didn't give my face the score of "Panty Peeler" or "Lady Boner!" #HowardStern #uglymeterpro

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

Using the cameras to clandestinely gather information is NOT "spying". Also, what I think words mean is my opinion, I'm allowed an opinion.

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

We're out of stock, website is shut down, all employees have left + we've filed for bankruptcy but that DOES NOT mean we're out of business.

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

Republican Glossary
Torture = Enhanced Interrogation
Millionaires = Job Creators
Unemployed = Free Agents
Universal Healthcare = Death Panel

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

Expired bottles of wheat germ and goat placenta smoothies. #ThingsFoundInRobinsJunkPile

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

A dead garden gnome and a tourism booklet from Somalia. #ThingsFoundInRobinsJunkPile

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

A gift certificate to the "Colonic of the Month Club" and a copy of "Swimming for Dummies". #ThingsFoundInRobinsJunkPile

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

This guy's balls are huge! But not as huge as the new GeekTime this Sat @ 2 -What I thought Ralph was going 2 say when giant ball guy was on

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

Mike Gange filled in 4 me while I was in LA 4 the Emmys. Which explains why my chair smells like farts and squandered potential. #DaddysHome

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

For her work on The Daily Show my wife has won another Emmy. And yet I still contend I'm her biggest prize. #DepaceForTheWin

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

Whoever said I spend the show working on my video caddy website is lying. If that was true how would I know Lars Ulrich was from Spain? #duh

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

The death penalty got biggest applause line of the GOP debate proving that while criminals might be dead, our awesomeness isn't. #hellzyeah

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

Soc Sec a Ponzi scheme!? It's more of a scam where purported returns are paid to existing investors from funds contributed by new investors.

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

See the GOP debate? I liked all the "tax breaks to fix our debt" talk but thought it needed more "Science is B.S." talk. #GOPDebate #helpUS

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

I'm driving home tonight around twilight and the sun is shining directly in my face and I'm thinking, "I didn't vote for this. C'mon Obama."

[Da' Baked Baker @DaBakedBaker]

If you were given a handful of seeds and told the resulting plant could make cloth, strong rope, food, and medicine, would you grow them?

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

Langford reports on self: Bye bye bastard. Backstabbing Benedict Arnold bolts the broadcast and has the balls to blast the benevolent boss.

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

#FF @DouchebagDepace because I secrete equal parts epic and awesome plus I'll butt fuck your boredom.

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

@greius Now that the debt deal is signed we can get back to talking about anything besides the Murdoch hacking scandal.

[Scott Depace @DouchebagDepace]

@ricktexas60 nice one