DieHardDougSacrison

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

Thank you, @XFLDragons for providing me with the means to make the coolest homemade mask in town.

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

has decided to spend some of this time writing a biography of Sting. Read his memoir and didn't completely agree with it.....

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

was going to try to be the positive one today, but then noticed he'd put on his underpants inside out. So yeah, may just bag today and try again tomorrow.

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

So, I kind of wrote something that got into the Tribeca Film Festival. Believe me, I am more surprised than anyone. But I guess I'm going to go putter around New York this weekend, maybe buy some $11 hot dogs, catch some ghosts, I dunno....

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

"The zoo is not a continent." -me at work yesterday, clearing things up

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

got punched in the eye by a huge dog, which seems like an appropriate way to celebrate #PresidentsDay2017.

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

does not like this new tradition of getting electrocuted by Christmas lights each year.

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

@tholmz If you are not doing so well, now or ever, please remember https://t.co/WUPxBQcZmZ

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

's own book was used at a wedding in place of a Bible. Marking the greatest honor or blaspheming he's experienced in a while, possibly both.

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

realized he lived out a lifelong dream by getting to object at a wedding ceremony this weekend.

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

cannot figure out why there is SO much sand in his clean laundry.

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

heard this sentence yesterday: "I get my good chocolate out when you come over, Doug." Would like to start hearing this sentence more often

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

never considered himself guidance counselor material, but did state at work, "Yeah, we probably shouldn't strangle our neighbors' pets."

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

was having a conversation that made him realize how glad he is that none of his friends have been eaten by a shark.

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

has been to plenty of second hand stores, and has never found a Raspberry Beret. Will keep on looking. RIP Prince.

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

thought he saw a two-headed dog, but it was just two dogs.

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

realized that when it comes to impulse buying, his biggest vice is clearance rack sweatpants.

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

is once again celebrating International Women's Day by not listening to any ZZ Top.

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

would like to congratulate his Cousin Leo on winning an Oscar.

[DieHardDougSacrison @DougSacrison]

had a dream that Steve Carell's role on The Office was originally played by Mariah Carey.