Podcasting changed my life.
In 2012, Laura bought me a $50 audio recorder and encouraged me to start my podcast.
I asked my father-in-law if I could interview him.
He said yes and I recorded the first episode of what was then called, âThe Learning to Lead Podcastâ.
Little did I know that:
â˘Iâd still be podcasting 12 years later.
â˘Iâd record over 400 episodes.
â˘Iâd get to interview all three of Pittsburghâs Professional Coaches.
â˘Iâd become friends with listeners all over the world and have an opportunity to make an impact in their lives.
â˘Iâd get to connect with so many of my heroes.
â˘Iâd have one of the leaders that has influenced me more than any other leader tell me that heâs listened to 20+ episodes!
After a 9 month break, the L3 Leadership podcast returns tomorrow!
Make sure you are following on your favorite platform: https://t.co/SMDSLuPw3e
#podcast #leadership #miketomlin #l3leadership
Question: What are you going to leave your kids?
Iâve thought a lot about this over the last few years.
There are a lot of options:
1.)Give them nothing and let them figure it out on their own.
2.) Help them with college and then they are on their own.
3.) Let them get your inheritance when you die.
4.) Help them launch (help them get a house, start a business, etc.)
5.) Set them up to make a multi-generational Impact.
These are difficult choices.
You donât want to raise spoiled and entitled kids who donât work.
You want kids to grow up and be responsible adults.
Hereâs where Iâm settling at this point in my life:
I want to set up my family to have a multi-generational impact.
If I can help my kids start on 2nd or 3rd base, when I started at home, thatâs a huge win.
BUT⌠to do that, my kids have to show that they are responsible, live out our values, and will be wise stewards of whatâs entrusted to them.
If they arenât responsible, arenât living our our values, etc⌠they donât get anything (I donât want to enable unhealthy lifestyleâs).
Two families I look up to in this respect at Dave Ramseyâs family and the Robertson family (Duck Dynasty).
It seems the key is to not give your kids too much before you know they are ready for it, but not too late that it doesnât actually make a difference for them.
So much of this depends on raising great kids who are able to handle this responsibility wisely.
The purpose isnât to give them everything they could ever want.
That actually has nothing to do with it.
Stuff doesnât matter and will never make someone happy or ensure they have a great life.
The purpose is to set them up for making the biggest impact they can make as a family.
How have you processed this with your own family?
The amount of good things in your life depends on your ability to notice them. -Caroline Leaf
One of the most important skills you can develop in life is to be content and happy wherever you are.
No amount of things, money, experiences, or people will in and of themselves make you happy.
For example, I can genuinely say that:
â˘I was just as happy driving my station wagon with no electric windows, no heat or A/C at 16 as I am driving our cars now.
â˘I was just as happy interning at a church for free as I am now with a leadership role.
â˘I was just as happy in our first apartment together as I am in our current house.
â˘Iâm just as happy taking a walk in our neighborhood with our kids as I am taking them on a Disney cruise.
For me, true contentment and happiness in life comes from:
â˘Knowing your purpose in life.
â˘Growing to your maximum potential.
â˘Making a difference in the lives of others.
If you do those things continually, youâll continually be happy throughout your life.
Life is too short to not enjoy it, to be envious of others, or to constantly compare ourselves to where we think we should be.
Lifeâs a journey. There are far more things for you to be experiencing joy in your life right now than you think.
You just have to notice them.
They just need God.
My mother-in-law, Judy Steidel, would often say that about people who were struggling in life due to their decisions and lifestyles.
Last night, we saw The Great Gatsby.
Prior to watching the play, I had no clue what the storyline was.
My conclusion after watching the play was⌠these people (the characters) need God. đ¤Ł
We live in a world where our culture seems to celebrate, minimize, or normalize:
â˘Affairs
â˘Partying
â˘Living for your own selfish desires
â˘Drinking and drugs
â˘The demeaning of marriage and family
â˘Lying
â˘Greed
None of these things will ever fulfill someone.
They may be fun for a moment, but in the end, they all will end in destruction in some form (as we saw in the play).
I lived half my life for myself and the other half for God and there is absolutely no comparison between the two.
Give me a life that:
â˘Is centered on God.
â˘Is continually focused on becoming more and more like God.
â˘Is focused on character and integrity.
â˘That values family and marriage above everything else.
â˘Focuses on serving others rather than ourselves.
Those are foundational to truly living a great life.
Where are you in this?
Have you been living for yourself or for God?
If youâve been living for yourself (howâs that working out for you?), maybe itâs time to surrender that life to God and see what happens.
I need God.
You need God.
And so does everyone on the planet.
Heâs worth you giving Him a shot.
What will you regret when youâre looking back at your life in your 70âs and 80âs?
â˘The business you never started?
â˘The book you never wrote?
â˘The job you never went for?
â˘The girl you never asked out?
â˘The ministry you never started?
â˘The trips you never went on?
â˘The adventures you never took?
â˘The relationships you never reconciled?
The key to minimizing regrets in your life is to live intentionally.
â˘Create a life plan so every day is filled with purpose.
â˘Create a bucket list and commit to crossing off 3-5 items each year.
â˘Dream big and go for it: Whatever is in your heart, go after it!
â˘Figure out what the price is to accomplish your dreams and pay it!
One day, weâll look back at our lives with joy or regret.
Which one you experience is up to you.
Have you ever been shown grace, mercy, and forgiveness in a way that transformed your life?
When I was 18, I was interning for a church in youth ministry.
I was also living a double standard life. I was serving kids during the week and partying on weekends.
Eventually, I got caught and was forced to meet with the Pastor overseeing the internship (Larry Bettencourt pictured below.)
I cried for 3 days straight and was so afraid.
Why?
Because I had just started walking with God and for the first time in my life I felt I could actually have a great future.
And now I thought⌠thatâs all over.
Theyâre going to kick me out of the church and Iâll return back to the life I was living.
When I met with Larry, I couldnât even look him in the eye. I looked down and shared how I had been living.
When I looked up, I expected him to say, âWe gotta let you goâŚâ
Instead, he had a huge smile on his face.
He said, âDoug, I love you and I believe in you and the Bible says that a righteous man falls down seven times and gets back up againâŚ.
Get back up again.
However, I canât let you lead and continue to live like this, so you have a choice to makeâŚâ
Undeserved grace, mercy, and forgiveness.
It was at that moment that I made the choice to leave the way I was living behind and go all in.
Iâve never looked back.
If that conversation doesnât happen like it did, Iâm not here today.
Since that day, Iâve done my best to show others the same grace, mercy, and forgiveness that Larry showed me.
Do your kids know why you are raising them?
Better question:
Do you know why your raising your kids?
Whatâs your vision for what you want to accomplish while raising your children?
Recently at a family dinner, we shared with our kids that we are raising them to:
â˘Know and follow God all the days of their lives. To hear His voice and to do what Heâs called them to do.
â˘To love their family team (parents and each other) even when they no longer have to and to raise the next generation of our family team!
â˘To be men and women of character. To have the wisdom to know whatâs right and the courage to do whatâs right, even when itâs hard.
â˘To be leaders and to be responsible.
â˘To make a difference with their lives.
â˘To be awesome human beings.
Itâs important that we have a vision for why we are parenting and what we are parenting toward.
We need to share that vision with our kids continually to remind them of why we do all the things weâre doing to train them up.
Whatâs your vision for why you are raising your kids?
Do you have people in your life who will be honest with you regardless of what you want to hear?
If you do, cherish them.
They are rare and they are a gift.
If youâll allow them to, they can change your life.
This is an area Iâve been trying to grow in for the last decade.
Iâm a recovering people pleaser.
I used to tell people what they want to hear rather than what I know they need to hear.
Then John Maxwell told me that I must learn to always love people, but to not depend on their love.
That changed everything for me.
I realized that often the most loving thing I can do is be honest with people, even when itâs hard.
That in the long run, honesty will make a bigger impact in someoneâs life than flattery will.
Proverbs 27:6 says: Faithful are the wounds of a friend [who corrects out of love and concern], But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful [because they serve his hidden agenda].â
The lessons:
1.) Surround yourself with people who tell you the truth you need to hear.
2.) Become a leader people can depend on to be honest with them, even when itâs hard.
What if we focused less on judging people and actually focused on restoring them after theyâve fallen?
Watch my entire conversation with John Nuzzo here: https://t.co/E83JJT3N4I
Most leaders spend their lives building something for themselves.
But the greatest leaders? They build people.
And hereâs the difference âŹď¸
In this episode of the L3 Leadership Podcast, Pastor John Nuzzo shares the leadership lessons, failures, friendships, and spiritual truths that shaped more than 30 years of ministry and impact.
We talk about:
⢠Why only a small percentage of leaders finish well
⢠The power of spiritual fathers and mentors
⢠Why proximity matters more than information
⢠How great leaders accelerate others instead of controlling them
⢠What younger leaders desperately need right now
⢠How to build a legacy that outlives your lifetime
If you care about leadership, legacy, mentorship, or helping the next generation win⌠this episode is for you. đŻ
Comment âAccelerationâ below for the link for the whole episode!
Do you ever look back at your life and wonder where youâd be if you made different choices?
I reflect on this all the time.
I was not headed down the right path when I was a teenager.
Had I continued down that path, I literally get overwhelmed to think about where Iâd be today.
I also look at pictures of classmates and reflect on who they were and where they are now.
Every single one of them has/had unlimited potential to be great.
Many of them are doing fantastic.
Others are not.
For the ones who arenât doing as great, I always think about who they could be if theyâd just get intentional with their lives.
Many of them (as was the case for me) experienced so much trauma and got dealt tough hands in life, which makes life challenging.
But regardless of who you are, where you started, your age, or the hand youâve been dealt, you can start making the right decisions today and create a life you never dreamed of living.
Iâm living proof that youâre one or two decisions away from changing your life.
There is overwhelming potential for greatness inside each of us.
We just have to be willing to pursue it.
Where you are today doesnât have to define where you are in the future.
Start making small choices to change your life for good.
I canât to see where you end up!
Your friend,
Doug
Success is not always Godâs confirmation and endorsement of your lifestyle. -Tim Dilena
If we arenât careful, we can start seeing natural âsuccessâ in our lives even when we know our character isnât living up to Godâs standard for us.
This can be extremely dangerous.
We start to believe that we are special.
We start to believe that we can get away with things that we shouldnât.
We can start to do what we believe is best rather than obeying God.
Living like this wonât always catch up to you right away.
You might be able to get away with it for a period of time, but eventually, everything will blow up in your life.
Donât let yourself get there.
The true confirmation and endorsement of God should be us becoming more and more like Him every day.
The Bible says God disciplines those He loves.
Whenâs the last time God corrected you?
If you havenât been corrected in a while, give some serious thought to that.
You could be further down a negative path than you think.
Are you being corrected on your character daily?
You should be.
Whenâs the last time youâve confessed and repented of something?
This should be a consistent practice in our lives.
Are you becoming more and more like Him?
Stop looking at outward metrics for âsuccessâ.
Start looking at your life and character.
There is a world of difference between the two.
One will get you off course.
The other will get you to your finish line.
Cheering for you.
Doug
Ten years ago this month, I became a dad for the first time!
Never once did I ever think that in the next ten years that weâd have five kids!
That said, nothing has been more fulfilling in my life than being a father to my kids.
Here are a few thoughts that drive my parenting:
â˘The greatest thing you may ever do may not be something you do, but someone you raise!
â˘The days are long, but the years are short. Cliche, but true. Cherish every moment.
â˘If you donât prioritize your family when they are young, it will be your greatest regret.
â˘You can make all the money in the world and have the greatest title, but if your kids donât want a relationship with you, itâll all be worthless.
â˘The goal is to raise kids who want to spend time with you and each other when they no longer have to.
â˘View your team as a multi-generational family TEAM on a mission.
â˘Try to give each of your kids 15 minutes of uninterrupted time each day.
â˘Your job is to make sure your kids have a great past. Make as many memories as possible!
â˘God will use your parenting to parent you! Nothing will stretch you like being a mom or dad.
â˘Watch how God parents you and youâll know how to parent your kids.
Keep being the best mom and dad you can be, parents! Nothing is more important!
Your friend,
Doug
Iâve always had a vision to impact a city, region, state, nation, and world.
However, the more I grow, the more I care about impacting the one person that is in front of me right now.
I often ask God:
Who am I going to be with today and how can I make a difference in their life?
AND I pray:
God, send me people that need what youâve put in me. Help me to help them.
When you focus on impacting the one person in front of you, it enables God to trust you with impacting more people.
What if we all stopped worrying about changing the world and started focusing on changing the people that God places in front of us everyday.
If we do that consistently and often enoughâŚ
Then maybe, just maybeâŚ
We could impact our communities, cities, regions, states, and maybe even the world.
WHO is the one person that God wants to use you to impact this week?
Go check in with them.
Your friend,
Doug
Today would have been my sisterâs 39th birthday.
We unfortunately lost her to an overdose in 2019.
I wrote this article after she passed in hopes that it would help:
â˘Anyone struggling with addiction
â˘Anyone who has family members struggling with addiction.
My hope is to honor my sisterâs life and to hopefully help someone in a related battle.
If thatâs you, know that Iâm praying for you and believing God that you or your family member would get help and get free from the bondage of addiction.
https://t.co/2cFNICZd55
Most people donât lead their lives, they accept them. -John Kotter
I recently spoke for Keller Williams on the subject, âHow to Build a Great Life.â
I recorded the talk and you can listen to it on the podcast now.
What Youâll Learn:
â˘Why most people accept life instead of leading it
â˘The difference between success vs. a great life
⢠How to create a life plan that actually works
â˘The âdream big + pay the priceâ framework
â˘How to become the obvious choice in your career
â˘The power of mentorship (and how to get it)
â˘A simple system to handle failure: Admit it. Quit it. Forget it.
â˘Why teachability is your ultimate competitive advantage.
I hope it adds a ton of value to your life.
If your organization is ever looking for a keynote speaker, Iâd love to be considered. DM me!
Listen here: https://t.co/f9q5Zrtmwm
Most people want the title of leadership, they just donât want the life of a leader.
The title means I get attention.
The life means I live with responsibility.
That was a statement I heard Gerald Brooks make recently that resonated with me.
A few thoughts on developing as a leader:
1.) The Path to Leadership usually Takes Longer than We Want it to.
It often takes decades of development in order to grow into the leaders we need to be to lead the things we see in our hearts.
2.) The Key to Becoming a Leader is Being Faithful Where You are, Solving Problems, and Making Things Happen.
Your next leadership role should be the natural result of what you did with the season youâre in.
Donât tell people what you will do, show people what you can do.
3.) Growth will Always be Required to go to the Next Level.
If you havenât been able to go to the next level, there is probably a reason.
Find out what it is and grow to the next level.
4.) When You Actually Get Into Leadership, You Realize That It is Way Tougher than You Thought it Was.
Itâs not glamour, perks, and fun. Itâs often filled with weight, responsibility, and complex issues that youâre trying to solve.
If you get into it for any other reason than to serve others and make the organization and world better, youâll be miserable.
If youâre called to lead, then do everything you can to develop into the best leader you are capable of becoming.
The path wonât be easy and likely wonât happen as fast as you want it to, but it will always be worth it.
Who do you have in your life that can tell you no that youâll actually listen to?
I was having lunch with a leader recently and we were talking about why leaders donât make it to their finish lines.
A very common pattern that came up was:
1.) They stop listening to the wise voices they once had around them.
2.) They stop being honest with the people around anything theyâre struggling with.
If you can relate to either of these, I hope warning alarms are going off in your heart and mind.
If weâre going to make it, we must surround ourselves with wise leaders and allow them to speak into our lives.
We must be able to hear no and not keep pushing the boundaries.
We must be honest with someone about our struggles.
As we grow, the wise voices in our lives should be increasing, not decreasing.
If you find the voices in your life are lessening or have gone away, do everything you can to bring them back.
Your life, calling, marriage, and family could depend on it.