Likes: Singaporean women, Kiwifruit, Corned Beef. Dislikes: Maoris, socialists, Rodney Hide. In the satire business — which is to say this is a parody.
When a National leader appeals to division and anger, I am there.
When a National member attacks a museum for showing climate "science", I am there
When Simon makes a misogynist joke about hair dye, I stir in his soul
When Hamish Price tweets, I am deep inside him
*Rattle.*
*Creak.*
GROOOOOOoooOOOO
*Slides sarcophagus lid off*
*Clears ancient throat of dust and grime and bile*
Nothing I have to say is worth listening to, except this:
Ignore me.
I'm already dead.
*Slides sarcophagus lid back on*
...Ooh, 280 charac
*Dies, again.*