Dr Scott Eilers

Licensed clinical psychologist, author of “For When Everything Is Burning”

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

The fatigue experienced during a depressive episode isn’t the type of exhaustion that sleep can fix. It’s an existential tiredness you can feel in your soul. Simply keeping your mind and body operational feels like more than you can take sometimes.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

Although depression is usually associated with fatigue and low motivation, some people experience the opposite. An uncomfortable increase in physical and mental energy as well as irritability and frustration. This is called psychomotor agitation.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

If you look back on your life and see big gaping holes where there should have been experiences, I just want you to know that you’re allowed to grieve that.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

Never let anyone make you feel like it’s “wrong” or “bad” to struggle with your mental health. Morality isn’t a factor in mental illness. You don’t get to choose the physical structure of your brain or the functioning of your neurotransmitters.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

Empty affirmations are not typically strong enough to challenge deeply held negative beliefs about yourself. When your mind tries to convince you of something negative about yourself it usually has examples. Your affirmations should also have examples.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

All emotions share the same pathway within your brain. When you take action to decrease the intensity of a feeling, you decrease the intensity of ALL feelings for that timeframe. This can make you feel “flat” and disconnected.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

Your mind is the final destination of all stimuli from the outer world, the ultimate narrator of the story of your life. If it isn’t well cared for, it can warp the best parts of your life into absolute meaningless nothingness.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

Little hurts fade with time, the emotional equivalent of paper cuts; painful at first, but quick to heal. Stronger feelings like grief, trauma, and resentment must be felt and expressed to be released and until you do, you’re just pressing the snooze button.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

Trying to be happy is a dead end. Happiness is a temporary state only experienced during periods of time which are emotionally above-average. Instead, I recommend pursuing a feeling that can last forever like contentment or self-respect.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

Small victories are the most important victories. Big victories feel great, but small victories are easier to repeat, and repeating them over and over again can create unimaginable change over time.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

Procrastination doesn’t always present as inactivity. Sometimes it presents as activity directed towards something that isn’t urgent or important while something that is urgent or important remains incomplete.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

The biggest reason that most mental health advice isn’t very good is that the people who know what it feels like to struggle with it don’t know what to do about it and the people who know what to do about it don’t know what it’s like to struggle with it.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

You are biologically programmed to value what you don’t have more than what you do have. That’s why it’s so hard for anything to feel like it’s ever “enough.” Your brain actively resists feelings of security no matter what you already have.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

The stimulation paradox of having both depression and anxiety; consistency feels boring, and boredom increases depression, but inconsistency feels unpredictable, and unpredictability increases anxiety 😬

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

We don’t experience depressive episodes because our lives are terrible. We experience depressive episodes because we lose the ability to emotionally access the parts of our lives that still feel good.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

I know you’re worried that the next big stressor is going to break you. But if nothing has yet, don’t you think it’s at least worth considering the possibility that you’re unbreakable?

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

Working on yourself can be a very lonely journey. Many people are “content” to live the same 6 months of life over and over again. If you want to break free of that, you have to be prepared to leave some people behind. Maybe even most people.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

Sometimes people fabricate backstories about their lives that are more disturbing or intense than their authentic pasts because they’ve been told over and over again that their feelings are out of proportion to the actual events of their lives.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

An apology is not a repair; it is a commitment to repair. If there is no follow-through after that commitment, it invalidates the apology. See what actions follow the apology before deciding your next steps.

[Dr Scott Eilers @DrEilers]

Delusions are often a symptom of severe depression. We can become so disconnected from the world when we’re depressed that we can believe we don’t matter to anyone, have never done anything, have no purpose, or even that we don’t exist or live in a simulation