Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊

What if I went a little wacko woohooha

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

I’m 50% smartass and 75% dumbass

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

I work at a grocery store and every time I see the package of Cauliflower Florets I feel like I’m looking at the name of a protagonist in a John Green novel.

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

@Mappy6984 Bro would be riding that bike he threw in the river.

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

My non-stick pan when I wanna cook an egg.

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

This was going to be a smart tweet about Frankenstein by Mary Shelley specifically the whole docter-monster name thing but I couldn’t make a point so she frank on my stein until I call my doctor a monster.

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

Me whenever someone mentions the H.L. Hunley, the first crew-manned submersible craft, invented in my home state 160 years ago, and killed on average 88% of its crew any time it went out because it was powered by pedals and made of cast iron.

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

Fuddpocalypse, Artificial Involuntary celibate, Howling 3: Bruce Wayne is a Werewolf, and Best Tiger. The gang is all here decades in the making.

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

Ya’ll are smack in the middle of some of the best #Invincible ever written, and more to come. Prepare for grandpa.

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

My girl posted me for Valentine’s Day and lost 600 followers, my face is like pesticide for these gooners.

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

The most important fact about Jeanne D’arc wasn’t that she was burned at the stake but the most important fact about Jeanne D’arc was that she was burned at the stake.

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

2025 is batshit, you got leftists playing the boy who cried nazi while being as anti-Semitic as Charles Lindbergh.

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

Favorite pastime is commenting “skill issue” on posts without even looking at them and never replying to a single comment.

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

Luigi with the @vgdunkey quote in his high school yearbook what a class act.

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

Marvel movies went down hill shortly after they stopped taking money from the Military to promote service. In iron man one we had humvees and f-35’s, the Incredible Hulk wasn’t a great movie but plenty of tanks and helicopters to keep our attention. Disney nerfed marvel I think.

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

YouTube shorts be like “Oooooooh you wanna be a cop soooo bad.”

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

For my entire life, if a song has close to 1.3 seconds of silence before the track ends, my brain punctuates the end of the track with the dance dance revolution swoosh and score tally screen sound effects. I wish I could escape this hell.

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

Conspiracy theorists wanna say the pyramids were built by aliens ok whatever that’s fine but the bass pro pyramid was built in three years and has a bowling alley so aliens suck I guess.

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

If I realize I’m arguing on the internet with someone from Los Angeles it feels like I got caught using the handicapped stall.

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

Historians won’t know what to do with this period in history.

“Ok so based on the data from the early 22nd century around the the start of the Imperium of Don, we can infer there was discourse about whether or not the arboreal regions would be better guarded by an Israeli bear or a Palestinian man.“

[Ạ̴̿̀J̷̹̓ 精霊 @DrMonkey427]

Shawty asked me if I had Birkenstocks I told her no my hands just shake from caffeine overdose.