Doctor Awesome

Just the best medical advice you've ever wanted to hear...

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

@Shape_Magazine drinking pure diesel fuel may seem like a good idea at the time, but there are some less than ideal side effects. Try bacon.

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

@healthfinder I'd recommend steroids to give your child the best start on their body building career.

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

I'd like to recommend a daily regimen if sitting, eating, then sitting some more. Over exercise my inflame your muscles.

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

This just in: buttering your buns is a smart way to exercise your fingers and slide the good down.

Thanks for the question @jesssmithers

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

I'm commissioning a new study on the nutritional benefits of #gravy. Message me if you're interested in participating.

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

As a first step toward your fitness goals, I'd like you to watch all of the #Rocky movies.

#DocsOrders #Fitness @MensHealthMag

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

Male pattern baldness? That's just means you've got more testosterone than a 16-year old boy on steroids. Your manliness is inspiring.

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

I've noticed that you've put on a little weight... Good for you. Way too many sickly looking skinnies out there. Here, have a #Twinkie.

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

Your wife called and said you've been sneaking cake at midnight, so I prescribed her a sleep-aid. You should be in the clear now #HealthTips

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

I'm going to bill your insurance for a special regimen of caffeine & antioxidants to increase alertness; here's an $800 @Starbucks gift card

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

Potato chips are an excellent source of Vitamin Q, a little-know nutrient that enhances your enjoyment of TV. #HealthTips #CleanLiving

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

Looks like the cold weather is going to last a little while longer. Why don't you stock up on cupcakes to increase your personal insulation.

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

Looks like you've been listening to a lot of uninspiring music. I'm afraid the only prescription is #MoreCowbell

#DocsOrders #medicine

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

“@WebMD: What causes #jawpain and what can you do for relief?” Probably caused by talking too much.Go buy an #iPhone and text people instead

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

I'd like you to substitute your multivitamins with this pack of #skittles for the week. #DocsOrders #CleanEating #HealthWatch

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

#Netflix is an excellent treatment for stress and anxiety. Presently, I'd recommend #Suits

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

@nytimeshealth if we could just stop the vitamins AND the workout, we could remedy the whole situation

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

@ClevelandClinic I just conducted a clinical trial showing Caribbean cruises were excellent for headache relief, and covered by insurance.

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

@Shape_Magazine great article, but you forgot loaded potato skins with extra bacon. The oils act as a lubricant to prevents blood clots.

[Doctor Awesome @Dr_Aweeeesome]

@WomensHealthMag Not at all. In fact, a recent study demonstrated that short men who put on weight are more likely to be seen as desirable.