Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem

Life coach | Creative | Neurodivergent | INFP | Living life with my full chest

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

A lil intro as I've been away.

Hi, I'm Dr Zainab; most call me Dr Zayne.

I am a life coach, a novelist & a poet.

I'm neurodivergent, a talkative introvert, and an INFP.

I help people like me live life with purpose.

I love morning walks, books, picnics, chocolate and tea.
😘

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

That feeling is not Love.
Love is not that feeling.

What you call love is mostly chemicals flooding your brain, clouding your judgement.

Love = clearheaded decisions.
Love = right actions.

Love is you choosing their happiness when it's inconvenient.
On repeat.

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

A Relationship is first and foremost a responsiblity.
Marriage is at its core, a contract.
Child rearing is first and foremost a responsibility.
Open your eyes, be wise.

Don't come crying after 8 months because the butterflies have disappeared and you now feel bored and stuck.

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

Too many people are out there wanting to get married only because they want a party where everyone focuses on them.
They have zero idea what marriage entails and are most definitely not ready for it.
Have your party by all means, but why involve someone else in your shenanigans?

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

person, I can never be like others. Something I needed to remind myself of.

Check out this video where I talk more about my reflections on it

👇🏾https://t.co/iRFzFp6opo

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

At a program a few days ago, while others networked, I hesitated till the very end without even a single hi to someone new.

It got me wondering if I'd just wasted a good chance and why I could not just be like others who found socializing easy.

But as a neurodivergent

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

new things, acquire new skills, or do things that can improve your life or the lives of others,

Simply means you are not a serious person.

You don't want change; you just want pity.

And that's not how life works.

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

No shade.

But living in your head every single day,

Lying on your parents' couch playing games all day long,

And then talking about your depr*ession and sui**dal feelings in different chat rooms all day long,

Refusing to seek help though you have access to it, learn

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

The only thing you can really give to anyone is Information.
The only person you can truly control is yourself.
Never others.
Give them information, respect their decision even if you think it is a wrong one.
This lesson has so much helped me find peace when dealing with others.

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

No shade.

But If you are just living your day to day life in sweet oblivion; if you are not pursuing something bigger than yourself, this is probably why you keep feeling empty, you lack motivation, lack direction and do not see the true essence of your life.

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

Spending everyday of your life working in order to gather money, acquire stuff, pay your bills, have fun and

Not pursuing anything bigger.

Is that really what you want your whole life to be about?

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

Letting a day go by without doing something, no matter how small, that moves you towards your dream is how you know your s*it isn't right and something has to change.

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

https://t.co/cQ0tXYaner

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria is an extreme sensitivity to real or perceived rejection from others.

RSD is a form of excruciating pain/disturbance felt when you think you've lost the respect, approval or love of people who matter to you.

Read more about it 👇🏾

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

You deserve your love.

Every part of you deserves your love.

Those parts of you that you're not proud of deserve your love.

There is not a single part of you that does not deserve your love.

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

Sometimes, success is not measured by how much you keep moving forward, but by the fact that you keep getting back up.

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

There is absolutely zero reason for you to sit on your dreams.

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

Before you tie your lot in with someone, e.g marriage,
pretend you've made a serious, grievous mistake and confess to them.

See how they react.

That should tell you everything.

Then you can move ahead with your eyes wide open.

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

Is berating someone not to make them aware of what they did wrong?

You don't have to forgive them or let go of ur anger bcos they apologized.

But if they've apologized for it, what is the point of berating them still?

Or is it really that you want to hurt them?

Be honest.

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

A message to my 18 year-old self;

You will Never be like others
and
that's okay.

[Dr Zainab O. Abdulraheem @Dr_zayne]

Strive to live your life in such a way that 15 or 35 years from now, you will not turn to someone and say 'I have nothing because of you,' or 'I gave up this because of you'.

Know your choice now & take responsibility for how you live your life.

That's what growing up is about.