Drake Scott

I am a #writer when I am not being a #musician, #artist, #comedian, #ventriloquist, #LeonardodaVinci, dork, remodeling my tiny home bus, or eating cheese.

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

(2 of 2 WIPs)
If Dave Barry wrote Office Space as a memoir. 60 chapters, where each chapter is about a job I’ve had. Very funny, but also has arcs of the work economy and personal growth over a lifetime of humorously painful jobs and lessons. #pitlight

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

There was a couple
Who’s romance exploded
So back to her place
Both locked and loaded

About to be lovers
There was no doubt
Until they found
They were locked out

Made love on the porch
Desire stocked up
But a neighbor saw
So they were locked up

#vss365
#vsspoem
#vsshumour

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

A bird cocked it’s head to #inquire
What’s this strange branch, a wire?
Twelve thousand volts
Then gave it a jolts
Now it does #sing and fly higher

#limerickrhyme
#vssdaily
#limerick

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

Why are we stopping?
We’re out of gas.
You didn’t fill it?
I always fill it. I wanted to see if you ever would.
Ridiculous. You knew it was low?!
So did you, dear. You know it takes gas but you never fill it.
We’re not talking about the car, are we?
We’re out of gas.
#converstory

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

I learned a lot in school
Triangle symmetry
Literary imagery

Opposite azul
Is vermillion
I can count to a billion

And the golden rule
A vignette I’ll write
Shakespeare recite

But never taught this jewel
Hurts like a knife
How to do life

#vss365
#vsspoem
#vsshumour
#vssdaily

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

I just got sick
With #cabinfever
Now I need
A pain reliever

Fever must break
I’ve got to kick it
I’m too broke
To afford a #ticket

I can’t travel
Anywhere desirous
Got an air #filter
To screen the virus

#vssdaily
#vsshumour
#vsspoem
#humor

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

@sweetiepiesnow I’m so sorry, Mary. That is difficult.

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

With the platform name change (yes, a long time ago) perhaps all my archived posts are now technically X-Files
😮👽🛸👻

#xfiles

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

With #Thor I had a #snowballfight
He’s a #liar, said “I will throw light.
Just one I’ll use.”
But it did abuse
Returning for many a flight

#limerickrhyme
#vssdaily
#limerick
#humor
#humour

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

@kstonewriter Wonderful! You’ve earned it

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

#Pathetic #ignorance has brought
#Irksome and #hideous thought
I’ll teach them all
With my wherewithal
Whether I know stuff or not

#vss365
#vssdaily
#vsspoem
#limerickrhyme

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

Anticipating
Underhanded
Torture,
However, an
Optimist
Really

#vss365
#acrosticchallenge AUTHOR
#writingcommunity

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

When I’m hungry in the morning
And feeling lackadaisical
Can’t think of other rhymes to use
Besides flapjackadaisical

This sticky situation here
I’ll transform so auspiciously
You’ll see just how deliciously
By rhyming syruptitiously

#vss365
#vsspoem
#vsshumour

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

A man got a wish from a genie
He got a fast car, a Lamborghini
The genie said
As he cocked his head
“You could have just got a bigger weenie.”

#limerickrhyme
#humour
#humor

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

@BklynMercado Thank you very much! I’m glad you liked it

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

Alphabet soup is my fave.
Saturdays during my lunch
I spell and then #visit the world
All in my bowl while I munch.

Have #escargot while in France
Then Switzerland on a bobsled.
Oh no! Is it hotdogs, not soup?!
I’ll make a log cabin instead.

#vss365
#vsshumour
#vsspoem
#humor

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

Soft and silent lullabies
Will not do tonight
The prologue of my future
Needs a dark fright
The spark of a dark
And abnormal nightmare
The topic that you choose
Please pick with care
For my bedtime story
Just make it extra gory

#vssdaily
#vss365
#vsspoem
#weirdmicro
#moonmystic

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

He does love to gamble, my boss
On payday each month he would toss
Two dice in the air
That did declare
Christmas bonus: #WorcestershireSauce

#limerickrhyme
#Limerick
#humor
#humour

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

@sweetiepiesnow

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

Billy Burr never washed
It made him live longer, he said
A venomous snake tried to strike
But body odor made it drop dead

So I stopped washing too
Then loving mom turned mean
Said it’s better if I expire
A little younger, but clean

#vss365
#vsspoem
#vsshumour
#vsshumor

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

@sweetiepiesnow

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

Giving this stanza all my thought
Will it be perfect? I guess not
The work is absurd
Overthink each word
But at least it comes from me, not a robot

#vssdaily
#limerickrhyme
#vsshumour
#humour
#humor
#limerick

[Drake Scott @DrakeWScott]

I’ve written music before in my dreams and I’ve had funny dreams. This may be the first time I’ve written a joke in my dreams. And a pretty good one, I think.

What interesting things have your dreams brought you?

#WritingCommunity