lost grad student, phd

my data runs wild and free as i have yet to gather it

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

Cruelty Free Manuscript*

*no researchers cried during the writing of this draft

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

Cell, Nature, and Science: *rejects my paper*

Me: years of dating has prepared me for this

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

Keeping a spray bottle at my desk for when my PI asks for new side projects

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

not a student or employee but a mysterious third thing

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

Teachers hold too much power. They could make you do an icebreaker at literally any moment

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

Him saying he doesn’t know how to fix our relationship and me shaking my head in disappointment because we haven’t even tried 4% formaldehyde yet

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

Oh thank god, the experiment failed. For a second there I thought I might have to analyze data

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

Omg they actually gave me a phd. The fools

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

I'm doing a study to see if having more 1st author papers correlates with increased job opportunities. I am in the control group

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

Imagine if papers were titled like movies

Protein Chaperones
Protein Chaperones 2: Aggregates Strike Back
Protein Chaperones 3: The Refoldening
Protein Chaperones 4: Return of ATP
The Final Protein Chaperone
The Final Protein Chaperone (Part 2)
A New Protein Chaperone

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

Knowledge is knowing that results are based on experimental conditions and variation. Wisdom is knowing the science gods control all

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

You become a grad student twice. Once when you're admitted, and again when you forget to add an antibody and don't realize until the bus ride home

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

The real lab notebook is the abandoned Google docs we made along the way

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

Measuring my thesis each morning to see if it's grown overnight

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

I refuse to defend my thesis. It's never going to make it in this world if it doesn't learn to fight for itself

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

Profs out here like: yes you can have your phd, but only if you answer my questions three

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

The sheer destructive power of a Sunday email from your PI

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

*writes literally two sentences*

Wow I've gotten a lot done, I should take a short break

*watches a 2.5 hour movie*

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

Crying before the experiment has even produced a result - me, an empath

[lost grad student, phd @Drawrof1]

We meet again negative data, you raggedy ass bastard