Man Trouble

Drunk on life (Vodka). Born to be mild. I actually chose the douchy avi. Strictly non-compos mentis.

[Mikos Von Beaverhaus @iMikosnyc]

Meet new people?
Why???

[Man Trouble @DrinkingatWork]

Please don’t believe the whole ‘Economy of thoughts’ reasoning. Mere observation would confirm that it has been effectively applied. We need more thought. Think about it.

[Man Trouble @DrinkingatWork]

@sharpieblamer Oh everyone that can is fleeing to New Zealand/ Australia/ Canada. Coming here would be like trading tickets for the Titanic for a seat on the Hindenburg.

[Man Trouble @DrinkingatWork]

Something to ponder: We like to pretend that we have a handle on things and yet for some reason the fact that winters are cold seems to come as a massive revelation every year.

[Man Trouble @DrinkingatWork]

The other primates pushed our ancestors out of the trees for having immensely stupid ideas like ‘bad things happen for a reason’ and ‘the power of positive thinking’.

[Man Trouble @DrinkingatWork]

@sharpieblamer As that citrus-colored gasbag, King Dumbassery-Trumps-Knowledge would say. There’s no emoji that accurately shows angry disbelieving despair.

[Man Trouble @DrinkingatWork]

Some mornings you wake up with a Neil Diamond song in your head and you have to stop and wonder what exactly you did last night.

[Man Trouble @DrinkingatWork]

My dating-profile clearly says I will make you desperately unhappy. I am my own PR-wizard.

[Your Life Coaches @LIFECOACHERS]

YOU ARE REMEMBERING THAT OLD SAYING WRONG, IT'S 'DON'T JOIN EM, BEAT EM.' MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE

[Your Life Coaches @LIFECOACHERS]

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE THROUGH LOTS OF YELLING AND HIDING WHEN YOU GET CALLED OUT

[Jim @GibJimson]

I haven’t smoked in like a week it feels weird not having a cigarette after I murder someone.

[John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets]

Password must include one capital letter, one lowercase letter, the square root of pi, a proof of Fermat’s Last Theorem, and the secret name of God.

[Man Trouble @DrinkingatWork]

That awkward moment when your boss expects a verbal response and you’re savoring a tumbler full of Scotch in your mouth #idontswallow

[Man Trouble @DrinkingatWork]

I don't want to say my boyfriend's Apple pie was bad but you needed a meat-cleaver to cut a piece.

[Man Trouble @DrinkingatWork]

My boyfriend tried to make my Mom's apple pie. The sentiment may have been sweet but the pie sure wasn't.

[Man Trouble @DrinkingatWork]

@Zuluking709 How is that even relevant you racist S.O.B?

[Man Trouble @DrinkingatWork]

@cnnbrk power down, cell towers down, this is a huge story! https://t.co/RwNLhLJhdY

[Kagiso @kayjah]

South African news agencies can be useless, A WHOLE TOWN is being evacuated and there is no live coverage anywhere? #KnysnaFire

[Man Trouble @DrinkingatWork]

1st rule of Fightclub - fly American #AmericanAirlines #unitedAIRLINES #worsethansnakesonaplane