The best way to honour someone who did a lot for you but regressed into someone you can no longer respect, is to remember the best version of them and be thankful for what they did for you. Even if they ultimately failed you, they gave you a great gift as proof of their love.
You need boredom. A lot of it. Start by going on walks without music. No stimulation. No distractions of any kind. If you learn to sit with your own thoughts, for long enough, in time they will start serving you. You'll start having ideas once again. You'll start developing an extreme sense of clarity that will shift you into the next stage of your life. All by being bored, which is pretty insane.