Drunk Quotes

I forgot everything after the 13th shot. Contact: [email protected]

[Sex God @HotSexGod]

We could all use a little more knowledge about what goes on between the sheets! http://t.co/75owfmkrbx - sp

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

Bringing in a flask of whiskey for show and tell in kindergarten

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

If the person you're looking at isn't any more attractive by the 6th shot, its time to move on

[Sex God @HotSexGod]

This makes me want to have sex! http://t.co/UpBUWWXqlk - sp

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

Do you want to have fun with the most beautiful women in NYC? Call New York VIP Escorts > http://t.co/U6YQAUW1PK - sp

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

I'm not a boxer, but I can do 10 rounds, 10 rounds of Jose Cuervo

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

If you thought my drunk texts were good, you should see my drunk snapchats

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

Telling the cop your name is Mclovin when you get caught with a fake ID

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

Excuse me but can I be of assistance? I speak fluent drunk.

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

How I sound after: 1 tequila, 2 tequilas, 3 tequiklas, 4 teuiqlas, 5 teuiqlsd, 6 teiqulkss, 7 eteiqlas, 8 treqiklas, 9 trwqiukas, 10 trewquw

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

Taking a shot for every lie in Health class about alcohol.

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

Writing a paper about the negative effects of alcohol while under the influence of a fair amount of alcohol.

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

The elaborate, already prepared speech to the bouncer as to why you changed home states over the weekend.

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

Hiding vodka in a water bottle worked until my parents took a sip

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

Soup of the day: yumm

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

That awkward moment when you offer a drink to someone you know doesn't drink

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

"Jesus had the wheel" will not get you out of a DUI, apparently

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

I don't always drink but when I do I usually end up face down passed out in a ditch.

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

You're not drinking alone if your pour two glasses...

[Drunk Quotes @DrunkQu0tes]

I know alcohol probably won't fix my problems..But it's worth a shot.