Drunk Slurs

We've all had those days where we say screw the world let's get drunk!

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

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[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

If going to work late, hung over and with sex hair is considered wrong, I don�t want to be right.

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

This bottle of vodka doesn�t have a suggested serving size on the label, so I�m gonna assume it�s just one serving.

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

Beer isn�t everything. Sex must also be involved.

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

Don�t get me wrong, I�m glad you came to visit. But, for the sake of my liver, it�s time for you to go.

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

Whoever is in charge of making sure I don�t do stupid shit when I�m drunk is fired.

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

Alcohol doesn�t cause hangovers. Waking up does.

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

I�m an alcoholic. In case of emergency, give me a beer

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

Money can�t buy happiness, but I�d cheer up much faster sipping a margarita on the beach outside of my oceanfront mansion.

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

I�m having potato salad for lunch. Well, potatoes and olives. Fermented potatoes. I�m having a vodka martini for lunch.

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

The customer is always right�but the bartender decides who is still a customer.

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

Headaches are the body�s way of saying �You need another beer�.

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

Thank God I�m not an alcoholic. I couldn�t stand not being able to drink.

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

I have come to the conclusion that I need to drink more when I�m hanging out with you.

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

If you�re going to walk a mile in my shoes, can you pick me up some beer on your way back?

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

Some things are better left unsaid. But I�m going to get drunk and probably say them anyway.

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

Love stinks! Let�s drink!

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

It�s okay to kick people�s barstools out from under them as long as you yell �JENGA� before they hit the floor.

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

The only reason I�m agreeing with you is because arguing delays my drinking.

[Drunk Slurs @DrunkSlurs]

It only takes a minute to show someone how you feel about them. The police call it indecent exposure, but whatever�