Drunk Thoughts

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[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

Cuts up to $3.12 off! https://t.co/RFATyE48dS

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

Bring back Ken Bone for a hot second

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

Hearing about what you did drunk is great because you’re the main character in a story you’ve never heard

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

[2 Years into Cosmetology School]
Me:[applying perfect contours]
When are we gonna start learning about space?

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

[getting an x-ray]
technician: Quit putting that box of chocolates on your chest.
me: Just tell me which ones are coconut.

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

When the brain and heart fight.. The liver always suffers

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

Why is there no hangover cure yet

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

This dude on the buckle up commercials looks better in a car crash than I do most mornings..

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

Mood: I'll wait in the car

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

Employer: "What's your biggest goal?"
Me: To be on a beach with a drink in hand

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

It's Friday so I drink to get drunk

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

Being so hungover you can't move

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

The original Disney Channel savage.
"You know how on the bottle it says 'Lather, rinse, repeat?'

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

I need a beer or 12...

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

Why has nobody come up with a hangover cure yet?

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

When commercials can load but the video you're trying to watch won't 🤔

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

#ValentinesDay

[Drunk Thoughts @Drunkthough]

RT to save a life