Dustin S. 🇺🇸

ISU Cyclone Friend of the Program. Husband. Golfer. Stir the pot. Always double down on 11.

[Walter Kirn @walterkirn]

You don't think they know how to count votes? Ha!

They know how to count them.

And how to add them and how to subtract them.

They can even do fractions.

The system is not "a mess."

The opposite.

It's nearly perfect.

[Dustin S. 🇺🇸 @Dsimmer81]

“It’s doesn’t matter who votes, what matters is who counts the votes.”

- Joe Biden

[Walter Kirn @walterkirn]

The California election is an epic & perhaps final boast. We sit behind this impregnable line, & here we have all power. Exhaust yourself in your fury, go ahead, & when it burns out, behold your impotence. You will do nothing in the end, for what can you do? It is a new age.

[Walter Kirn @walterkirn]

The California election is an epic & perhaps final boast. We sit behind this impregnable line, & here we have all power. Exhaust yourself in your fury, go ahead, & when it burns out, behold your impotence. You will do nothing in the end, for what can you do? It is a new age.

[Degen CPA @DrewVento]

We make your tax rate your body fat percentage

[Dustin S. 🇺🇸 @Dsimmer81]

My childhood in a “Tweet.”

[Jeff Putnam |✍ @TheJeffPutnam]

It’s 1991 and you’ve just popped the TMNT VHS into the VCR and this comes on:

[The Drunk Republican @DrunkRepub]

The fact that we are having a hard time throwing America a 250th birthday party because leftists are threatening to kill everyone involved is the most zeitgeist shit I’ve ever seen in my life

[Zach Lahn @ZachLahn]

We can win this race on Tuesday. Plenty of undecideds left to break 35%.

All gas.

Iowa First voters - get to the polls on Tuesday and we will upend this race and win in November.

[Master of the Flying Jetski @jetskitosway2]

Michael Mann protagonists be like : Fuucccckk I'm so Sad because of my obsessive commitment to my Professional Craft...I have to go stare at a large body of water about this

[Dustin S. 🇺🇸 @Dsimmer81]

@ChrisKroeger1

[Dustin S. 🇺🇸 @Dsimmer81]

Saturday night, I was downtown, working for the FBI…

[Genius @Genius]

what’s the greatest opening line to a song?

[Sweet Meteor O'Death @smod4real]

He’s approaching the rental car desk. Send all employees home except for one, who is locked in a battle with another customer for the dumbest reasons imaginable. Make sure the only employee at the desk types out an entire novel before she acknowledges him.

[Luka Donthičć @landahoy14]

can’t bomb a drive at a data center, nerd

[Brett Taylor @Brett_A_Taylor]

My understanding was that the Cubs were going to win every game for the rest of the season.

[Straight Down The Middle @sdtmgolf]

Best Titleist commercial ever...

[Walter Kirn @walterkirn]

Soft on violent crime, tough on disease strikes me as inconsistent.

[MLB @MLB]

THREE straight walk-offs
EIGHT straight wins
FOURTEEN straight home wins

The @Cubs.

[Taylor McGregor @Taylor_McGregor]

The #Cubs just got their 24th win of their first 36 games for just the third time in the Live Ball Era (since 1920). The two other seasons: 1969 and the 2016 World Championship season.

[OptaSTATS @OptaSTATS]

The @Cubs over their last 20 games:

17 total wins
10 comeback wins
9 wins after allowing the first run
6 one-run wins
4 walkoff wins
4 wins after trailing in 8th or later
3 extra-inning wins

No other MLB team in the modern era has done all of that over any 20-game span.

[The Drunk Republican @DrunkRepub]

It will always be insane to me that Trump’s platform was just like “we should give jobs to Americans and keep criminals in jail” and the left just started foaming at the mouth and trying to kill his ass.

[Jason D. Meister 🇺🇸 @jason_meister]

They arrested the President of the United States of America 4X, charged him 91X, indicted him 4X, spied on his campaign, sabotaged his first term, jailed his supporters, raided his private residence, censored him, gagged him, tried to bankrupt him, and attempted to remove him from state ballots.

When all of that failed they tried to assassinate him not once but four times.

And they go on national television to talk about how we need to vote for them to save democracy.