duduca

histórias têm fatos, mas fatos não são toda sua história 23/10/19

[duduca @Duane_003]

Ovo safado cuidado
gato kkk

[duduca @Duane_003]

@TodoDiaGatinhos Festa junina, época de recuperar esse vídeo

[Todo Dia Gatinhos 🐾 @TodoDiaGatinhos]

miaaaaaar

[kuni @getinhos]

mds ele tem um gato das calça erguida😭

[Al Capone @im_AlCapone]

🚨 URGENTE🚨

[RatazAna @rabbits_bad]

Católicos fazem terço pra guiar a mão do médico, na umbanda as próprias entidades mandam procurar "os de branco", judaísmo preconiza a preservação da vida, no islã o hadith incentiva o avanço da medicina. Mas pro crente vc tem que morrer quieto pq é "a vontade de deus"

[🍓Moghis🍓 @moghiskk]

quando vc ta deitada e um gato gigante de gordo decide pisar com uma unica pata na sua barriga concentrando suas 2 toneladas inteiras em um unico ponto perfurando seu abdomen

[duduca @Duane_003]

@gabrielbeblo Não precisei ver a foto pra saber do que se trata
Dito isso, estarei entrando em detox digital 😮‍💨

[duduca @Duane_003]

Odeio quando as pessoas começam um vídeo com “gente,”
Salvo “genteeeee” em tom de fofoca

[duduca @Duane_003]

@himebruna Quem tem filho com cabelo no cu é cebola

[Transporter 🇳🇵 @GuyFawk15833163]

Sabe quando minha opinião em relação ao Messi como pessoa mudou?

Quando percebi q ele sabe e ouve os xingamentos racistas da torcida Argentina e nunca, nunca usou a influência dele pra pedir pra parar. Ele é um cara q teria essa moral. O único da Argentina q teria. Nunca o fez.

[Desiree Rugani @desireerugani]

Se isso for verdade as Bets vão acabar com o futebol brasileiro igual a mafia destruiu o futebol italiano

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[dio✮ @diomalgarise]

amooo mês que vem eu termino de pagar a pizza que comprei em maio 💖💖

[Jakelyne Loiola @Jakelyneloiola_]

DECLARAÇÕES FORTES!

O técnico do Egito, Hossam Hassan, fez duras críticas.

“Vou dizer o que penso independentemente das consequências. Esta foi claramente uma partida manipulada e o mundo inteiro viu isso.”

“E quero dizer mais uma coisa: se eles querem tanto que a Argentina vença, por que chamam todo mundo para vir e participar?”

[duduca @Duane_003]

@cdbmeli KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK VSF A CARA DELA TIPO “VC TAVA AONDE???”

[duduca @Duane_003]

@chicorinha_ Chics essa balofa não consegue nem lamber a precheca pra limpar por causa da barriga, leva o selo?

[duduca @Duane_003]

@_rabelolari Bora comigo na clínica da família fazer crochê terça q vem

[Sol Rodriguez Garnica @SolRGarnica]

Hasta que no le pidan perdón, esto va a seguir pasando.

[Josh @joshpearson180]

Vozinha is the man

[duduca @Duane_003]

@kbysper @esthereading Você aceitou o ensinamento que a espiritualidade quis passar através de um gatinho laranja 🤣🥰