Melissa Levine

Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.

[Melissa Levine @Dubon2Mavis]

You're 9 and you have a phone? ... Who do you call? Dora?

[Shari Woolf @NellMaryam]

sounds like sunday

[Melissa Levine @Dubon2Mavis]

Check out these funny autocorrects http://t.co/yUae8sGqaN

[Mary Le @BobbieMadge]

POLICE OFFICER: "How high are you?" ME: "No officer. It's 'Hi, how are you?'"

[Melissa Levine @Dubon2Mavis]

Me: "Haha I'm older!" Friend: "Haha you'll die first!" Me: "Not if I get my license first and run you over."