Ducky

[ESPN FC @ESPNFC]

OLISE PASSES PELE FOR THE MOST ASSISTS EVER IN A SINGLE WORLD CUP (7) 🔥

[Bussin' With The Boys @BussinWTB]

Punches landed in Vegas this weekend

Bam Adebayo: 1

Conor McGregor: 0

[COCHISE @cochise]

GIVE THAT NIGGA A MEDKIT AND START THE FIGHT AGAIN

[Brooks Austin @BrooksAustinBA]

If Paddy isn't already blackout, they outta just roll him back out and make him fight Halloway

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

I submitted a requisition form for 3 49-inch curved ultrawide monitors.

The total cost was $4K.

Procurement rejected the request within 10 minutes.

They sent a note saying standard protocol limits IT staff to 2 24-inch flat panels.

I immediately drafted a 6-page manifesto on the dangers of peripheral tunnel vision.

I emailed it to the entire C-suite.

I explained that monitoring a dynamic cyber-threat landscape on flat screens causes severe visual fragmentation.

I said when a hacker attempts a brute-force entry, the malicious code moves horizontally across the network topography.

I told them that a 24-inch monitor physically clips the ends of the payload, making it invisible to the naked eye.

I invented a term called "lateral data leakage."

I claimed that without the parabolic curvature of an ultrawide display, our localized firewalls were essentially blind on the flanks.

I included a heavily doctored heat map that showed our headquarters completely engulfed in red warning zones.

The CFO walked into my office 10 minutes later looking terrified.

He asked if we were currently experiencing lateral data leakage.

I squinted at my tiny, inadequate flat screens and sighed.

I told him I couldn't be sure because my field of vision was artificially constrained by legacy hardware limitations.

I said I felt like a fighter pilot trying to fly through a thunderstorm while looking through a paper towel tube.

He immediately bypassed procurement and authorized the purchase on the corporate card.

The monitors arrived yesterday.

I mounted them in a seamless 180-degree arc on my desk.

It looks like the command deck of a spaceship.

I'm not using them to monitor network topography.

I'm using them to play Microsoft Flight Simulator in ultra-panoramic 4K resolution.

I currently have the autopilot engaged somewhere over the Swiss Alps.

I keep a spreadsheet open on the far-left edge just in case someone walks in.

When people ask why the screens show a highly detailed 3D rendering of a mountain range, I tell them it's a topographical representation of our cloud storage density.

They always nod in awe and slowly back out of the room.

Never let corporate policy stand in the way of your immersive gaming experience.

[Kar @karlogan_]

Dawg on IG they asked straight men what’s the gayest thing they’ve done and a dude said he raised his hand in the club when the DJ asked who got a birthday tonight lmaooooo

[jackie 🐝 @tzukima]

hasn’t aged because it’s timeless

[The Extreme Football Enthusiast @ExtremeFootbal4]

Throwback to when two Everton fans who went looking for beers at the World Cup in Qatar and ended up in a Sheikhs palace chilling with a lion… 🤣🇶🇦

[James Lucas @JamesLucasIT]

Curtis Jenkins, an elementary school bus driver, asked all 70 kids on his route what they wanted for Christmas and got each a gift.

[FIA World Endurance Championship @FIAWEC]

Until next year, Fuji-san 🫶

#WEC #6HFuji

[Phil Bak @philbak1]

Friend of mine wasn’t getting his raise request. I told him to show up next day w haircut, best suit, carry one of those resume folders, and to leave late morning for an hour to sit in a coffee shop, then come back quietly like nothing happened.

The next week he got his raise.

[jasmine @jasarchive22]

i forgot that since Cadillac is American that means they will let Bottas do dumb shit again unlike Mercedes

[hope hopes hoping @hopes_revenge]

gf says because we got chinese yesterday we can’t get it again today. i don’t think that makes sense . they do it in china all the time

[💪🎭..Rai ji..💪🎭 @Vinod_r108]

@InternetH0F That's the most badass backhand slap I have ever seen 😳

[kira 👾 @kirawontmiss]

need someone to tell me how he did this