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"When Heaven is about to confer a great responsibility on any man, it will exercise his mind with suffering, so as to stimulate his mind, harden his nature, and improve wherever he is incompetent."
— Mencius
Women who didn't have to look after their siblings are on balance of probability categorically inferior to women who did, because the mothering function is less developed in them.
The byproduct of this is greater self-conceit, a more egoic and less self-sacrificing disposition, a greater reflexive propensity for petulant anger and spite, petty control seeking, and overall greater entitlement. This lies in stark contrast to eldest daughters, who being purer and more self-sacrificing, generally believe they inherently do not deserve anything they have not earned.
So youngest daughters, only child daughters, or eldest daughters with a big age gap with the next sibling will be on balance of probability the most selfish, least sacrificing and most spiteful women, because they have the least developed sense of other-prioritisation from a young age. They are used to people sacrificing for them, rather than sacrificing for people. They are the most spoilt and most self-centred daughters, and therefore the least grateful and more soulfully ugly daughters.
You'd be surprised by just how much birth order and early age sibling responsibility affect a woman's depth of personality and capacity for love through the cultivation of motherliness. Girls who had to become women before they were free again to be girls, make for vastly superior lovers and wives than girls who never had to become women because they were so completely looked after by others, they were never tasked with looking after anybody themselves.
This is probably one of the most important and overlooked things men generally fail to consider when choosing a woman - the relationship between soul purity, and birth order.
Much of my desire to be better is simply so I can love you in the way you deserve, rather than in the way I am able - and it is the gap between those two things that is absolute existential agony for me.
Being single is cheaper for men. Being in a relationship is cheaper for women. Marriage is where a man starts carrying the real financial weight. Since he is carrying all that responsibility, the least you can offer is peace.
Man to man:
Do not date a girl who cannot admit she’s done anything wrong. This type of girl will drive you insane. Basically, she’ll do something wrong/hurtful and if you bring it up with her, she’ll get upset that you’re upset and it’ll lead to an argument and somehow, she becomes the victim again and you the villain.
I once dated someone and he kept pressuring me to show him where I live. One day i decided to show him my mabati house .... we slept tu vizuri. I woke up at 4am, he was seated next to me with his clothes and shoes on.. Vile nilifungua tu macho he was like...." Kumekucha amka tukalale kwangu" kuangalia saa ni saa kumi. Aai kwani hujalala... "Nitalala aje huku watu wamelala kutembea usiku mzima? hebu twende" I just woke up nimkalishe atleast jua itokelezee tuondoke.. He never tried that again.. Aliniambia alikua anasikia footsteps anasimama nyuma ya mlango😂
The easiest person to take for granted is usually the hardest to replace. Why?
Because they made loyalty look normal. Because they made consistency look normal. Because they made effort look normal
So normal that you start believing you can find that anywhere. That's why many people leave good partners NOT because they found better BUT because they assume that can be easily found
The person you get "bored" of is often the person you'll end up looking for in other people
If you have that person in your life, value them.
The best thing i did for myself was to decenter sex from my life. I love it like mad but wouldn’t chase or go out of my way to have it, if it comes fine, if it doesn’t then that’s fine too.
You don’t want a woman who is agreeable and people-pleasing to the world, but argumentative with you.
You want a woman who is disagreeable with the world, but cooperative with you.
Respecting the man who leads and protects her while resisting everyone else is healthy and natural.
The opposite is perverse.