Joseph Gatu Senior

Biology

[Joseph Gatu Senior @DukeofNairobi]

@KWSKenya Hio ndio Baba alikua anaita Burukenge ama niwache ujinga?

[Joseph Gatu Senior @DukeofNairobi]

@pksalasya 7m? Zile mzinga umekunywa this year pekee zimetosha kujenga hii bridge. We got a similar one somewhere in Joska and the quotation has come to around 237K. Ama hio 7M includes your car hapo?

[Joseph Gatu Senior @DukeofNairobi]

@HonAdenDuale Hyenas can now do business in Garissa efficiently. Or they aren't welcome?

[Dr. Ekuru Aukot @EAukot]

He forgot he is in broadbased government 🤣🤣

[Joseph Gatu Senior @DukeofNairobi]

@Belive_Kinuthia 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 Acha nicheke tuu. Nithi Bridge hoyeeee

[James Orengo @orengo_james]

DCP’s Sammy Douglas Waweru’s decisive win in Ol Kalou represents a triumph for ordinary citizens. It is a clear signal that the ground has shifted, and President Ruto should prepare for a single term. From Mt. Kenya to the Lake region, the people have spoken, it is WAN-TAM!

[Omwamba 🇰🇪 @omwambaKE]

Kenya is the only country in the world where citizens search police officers 😂

[Joseph Gatu Senior @DukeofNairobi]

@EvanoMemba *these not this

[Joseph Gatu Senior @DukeofNairobi]

@kipmurkomen Hapa mtu anaeza comment mambo yake ajue umuhimu wa lawyer na ujue boot space ya subaru inaeza tosha ndovu.

[Joseph Gatu Senior @DukeofNairobi]

@KURAroads Kasarani, mwiki, Njiru, Ruai... Hii ata msijenge. Kujeni mupande ndizi mkule

[Joseph Gatu Senior @DukeofNairobi]

@HonMoses_Kuria Politics 😂😂😂

[Joseph Gatu Senior @DukeofNairobi]

@PoliceKE We need a radical vetting tool—an IQ test. Handing out firearms and sovereign authority before testing basic cognition is why the Bill of Rights is treated like an optional Terms & Conditions page.For now,enjoy playing headmaster to "E" students who lack the educational baseline

[CPA Wachira Joseph @WashiraX]

KRA wants a share of dowry money.

There is a guy called Kamau.

When it was time to buy his wife, he mobilized his most monied buddies.

He put them in a WhatsApp group. The fundraising began.

Those boys were loaded. They were only 35.
By by the time they were done, they had contributed 4.5 million shillings.

Others who were not in the group wired money directly to Kamau's bank account.

The ruracio D-Day arrived.

And as always, the one and only Kikuyu ruracio anthem was tuned.

🎶 Wero... Werokamu guku kwa wa Kanini... Werokamu... 🎶

Before they could finish the song, more than 2,000 people had pulled up.

Wakaanza kutoa funjo. Then one man stood on a stool and announced they could not sit until they had given Kamau top up money to add to the dowry.

The donation book was hurriedly brought. People lined up. Cash started flowing.

By the end of the day, another 2.8 million shillings had been raised.

Kamau took the money and banked it.

Total dowry contribution sitting at his bank account: 8m shillings.

The ceremony became the talk of Gatundu South.

Kamau paid his dowry. Collected his wife. And went home peacefully.

• Lesson 1. Monied friends are good for paying dowry.

I have no clue how. But sometime later, Kamau was marked for a KRA tax audit.

KRA went straight for his bank statements. They found deposits of 8 million shillings.

Immediately, they baptized the entire amount as undeclared taxable income.

Then demanded: 30% income tax. Penalties plus interest.

Total bill: 2.5 million shillings plus.

When Kamau saw the tax bill, he went mad.
He could try to talk but words would not come out. He nearly swallowed his tongue.

When he came back to real life. He shipped a protest letter to KRA.

He explained the money was dowry contribution from his family, friends and well wishers.

- He produced WhatsApp group fundraising screenshots.
- He produced RTGS confirmations.
- He produced the donation book.
- He even produced videos of the ceremony.

Including footage of the Werokamu song.

KRA could not hear any of it. They only wanted 2.5 million.

When Kamau realized KRA was not playing, he ran to court.

He told the Tribunal:

- My lord, look. I have shown KRA where the money came from.
- I have shown KRA who contributed it.
- I have shown KRA the ceremony.
- What more do they want from me?

KRA responded.
And what they said nearly made the judges fall off their chairs.

They argued the evidence was not convincing.

Why?

• Because the 2,000 plus donors had not sworn affidavits confirming that the money they gave was a donation and not payment for goods or services.

The Tribunal looked at the matter in amusement.

Then ruled.

- Kamau had discharged his burden of proof in full.
- KRA had acted unreasonably by ignoring and disregarding the substantial evidence he provided.
- And most importantly: Income tax is a tax on income. It is not a tax on every deposit appearing in a bank account.

The Tribunal found that KRA was wrong to treat all bank deposits as taxable income without first removing proven non income items such as dowry contributions.

The tax demand was killed.

Kamau won.

KRA retreated to Times Tower. And rested.

Case closed.

• Lesson 2.

- Document everything.

- KRA will push. Push hard.

[Alfred Keter🇰🇪 @alfredarapketer]

We are sorry the great people of North Eastern, we were not familiar with your game!
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Wantam Is Wantam!

[Joseph Gatu Senior @DukeofNairobi]

@MillicentOmanga Naonea huruma anyone who will vote for you. Kwanza after the words you uttered during the GenZ protests and the show off ya magari. Anyway acha nimeze wivu yangu

[Every Movie Plug @everymovieplug]

Every frame of him looks iconic.

[Johnny Midnight ⚡️ @its_The_Dr]

Monty Python. 😂🤣😂💀

[Joseph Gatu Senior @DukeofNairobi]

@USEmbassyKenya Does this have anything to do with the incoming Ebola patients?

[Joseph Gatu Senior @DukeofNairobi]

@AokoOtieno_ In a country where our lawmakers seek medical care out of the country. Because they also know our systems are pathetic and their "well crafted SHA" isn't working.

Ahhh Kenyan decision makers are short of wisdom

[Joseph Gatu Senior @DukeofNairobi]

@RobertAlai 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 Alai 1-Babu1