Dustin Martin

Not a tree

[Dustin Martin @Dusmar]

Trump participated in the orgy.

Biden is in the corner watching us get fucked.

Where the fuck is Teddy Roosevelt when we need him?

[Dustin Martin @Dusmar]

I live in the greatest city in the fucking world

[Dustin Martin @Dusmar]

If you don’t text someone the way Johnny Depp and Paul Bettany text each other you’ve never had a best friend and I feel sorry for you

[Dustin Martin @Dusmar]

Phone wallet keys till I fuckin’ die

[Dustin Martin @Dusmar]

@realDonaldTrump I don't usually wear the tin hat well, but I'm not 100% convinced this isn't a DeepFake video

[Dustin Martin @Dusmar]

They didn’t make enough movies featuring Zac Efron playing basketball #StopTheSteaI2021

[Dustin Martin @Dusmar]

Hunter Biden Laptop would be a great name for a ska punk band

[Kellyanne Conway @KellyannePolls]

306. Landslide. Blowout. Historic. https://t.co/ObYZDo8cBq

[Dustin Martin @Dusmar]

@CoupNBA @JimmyButler and @KingJames were flying in hot - it looks like AD pushed him out of the way so his head wouldn’t get side swept by a 250 lbs man #GoodGuyAD

[Dustin Martin @Dusmar]

Smelling a fart is not the same as tasting a turd

[Dustin Martin @Dusmar]

@Chelz37 Hey, that’s me

[a Marx bros. production @ImLavery]

If random strangers don’t think you and your homie are a gay couple are y’all even really homies?

[Dustin Martin @Dusmar]

I’ve never seen so many frustrated republicans

[Dustin Martin @Dusmar]

@cc_takyon Gotta play RuneScape bro

[Marshall Mathers @Eminem]

This is INCREDIBLE!!! 4 a second I actually thought it WAS me!! @chrisdelia https://t.co/51Vop6aucO

[Dustin Martin @Dusmar]

Martial arts are cool and everything but I will never see the initialism ‘bjj’ and not think ‘blow job job’

[Dustin Martin @Dusmar]

@laurrrconroy Try meth! - you’ll get addicted and your life will be ruined, but at least you don’t have to worry about that cold!

[Dustin Martin @Dusmar]

@tomsegura @ChristinaP best man at a wedding and I found some mommies to piss on and beat 2018. Our count down is only gonna be the last four strokes. Here’s to plenty of moose soup in 2019 - Happy New Years, Hitlers

[benji @cc_takyon]

one day i will not procrastinate on my school work. one day. i truly believe it will come. its not today.

[Dustin Martin @Dusmar]

So I don’t like that Donald Trump can just send a message right to my phone