Dustin Sterling

No not Justin

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

People go outside during a blackout. They might because it's hot in their place. But I think they also might because when they're cutoff from connecting digitally, they revert to analog.

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

Lamps Plus might still be open if all you actors hadn't clogged up their parking lot when you went to 200 South. Rage, rage against the dying of the (home) light(ing store).

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

I'm stranded in a boat off the coast of FL. If there's anything you ever wanted to tell me ... this might be your last chance

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

Got through airport security but not before a K9 unit smelled my bag for awhile then peed on it. I guess it belongs to him now. That's what I get for not peeing on it before I left.

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

Kiss me my 23andMe says I'm 63.1% British & Irish

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

I'm over that thing where a vehicle speeds into frame unrealistically fast and hits a main character. Tell all your Hollywood friends

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

I just realized how cool the date was yesterday, today. I fear this is a sign of the year to come

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

What does Nat King Cole have against newborns and 93+ year olds?

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

Based on the over 100 times this guy on the train has said it, I don't think the person on his phone does "know what (he's) saying"

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

Sorry to hear that Jay Thomas died but relieved it wasn't from being run over by a Zamboni #eddielebec

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

I love you #GOT, but this is moving too fast. I'm used to us taking things slow. Oh who cares! Let's move into a castle and get a Direwolf!

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

I'll never call lights for your show but I'll tell everyone around me when it should have happened #improv

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

Had a dream about nuclear war and it was NOT fun. So my vote is that we don't have one.

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

I can't understand people who don't wear sunglasses. I wonder what the Venn diagram is on them being morning people?

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

Poll: what do dogs hate more skateboards or fireworks?

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

I didn't love GOTG2 and I don't hate a Harry Styles song. So my world is a little upside down right now.

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

Countless dog "meet cutes" are ruined by pulled leashes every day

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

It had been so long I thought maybe I'd never write a check again. Why doesn't the government have Venmo? #taxes

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

I only have two friends in my building, a stray cat and an older Hispanic lady who speaks broken English

[Dustin Sterling @DustinSterling]

I'm fiending pretty hard for one of those Triple Double Crunchwrap boxes. Somebody talk me off this ledge!