Dustin Martinez

Speak softly and carry a big stick

[𝓓𝓸𝓬_𝔃𝓮𝓮 ✧ @doc_zee7]

Me refusing to sleep because i didn't get enough time to feel like human after work

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

Joey Chestnut, the reigning champion and 17-time winner of the Nathan's Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest, will compete in the July 4 spectacle while on probation after he pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor battery charge.

More via AP:

https://t.co/lFiLakrWhG

[Cłoùd𖤐 @vapefuls]

“finally a day off”

my day off:

[Boppa 🧟‍♂️ @ihatebbls]

Sittin courtside tonight

[helkum @he1kumwya]

i recommend not coming to work tomorrow

[𝖗𝖊𝖉✞ @_redfeels]

My boss having a nightmare about me using my PTO 😅

[Corporate Dudes @corporatedudes]

Me: “I’ll come for one beer, but that it. I got work tomorrow”

Me at 3am in the back of an Uber:

[Molly @FSUmollz]

Trying not to throw up in the back of the uber

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Somebody check on this camera guy. That may be career ending

[Luis Vercetti @97Vercetti]

Me at work pretending to be nice

[⋆KMꜝ❤︎ @mskmalibu]

just got revenge on someone who wronged me 6 years ago. never be relaxed ever! im coming

[Chuck Bass @ChuckFBass]

My brain trying to keep up with Iran, Venezuela, Minnesota, Tua, Kamala, Gaza, Ukraine, Jeopardy, and that time I embarrassed myself in high school.

[Shane ☃️ @MakeItR4yne]

GameDay

[T @Y0itsT_]

Nick Bosa got a poster of this in his bedroom and he just throw darts at it every day

[M🇦🇷🇪🇸 @mxximxximxxi]

getting all the signs lately

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

“Microplastics” “Red 40” Baby I buy my greens powder at TJMaxx. My bloodstream contains elements scientists have yet to discover

[Yunie ૮ ․ ․ ྀིა @Hyeyunie]

Even if you like anime you gotta still wear deodorant man

[Luis Vercetti @97Vercetti]

Dentist: "You've been grinding in ur sleep"

Me: "I appreciate it big dawg"

[kay @kswizzlein]

…. ur really gonna do this to me on mcdonald’s snack wrap day