Dusty’s Lessons of Life

Burner acct of @quallsastros Strictly parody and satire for the baseball beloved

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

@Riffraff3232 Back in my day you didn’t take days off for mental rest. Now at my age I will occasionally lose a day or after a long nap but these cats nowadays are a different breed. I heard in Orange County the coaches there have introduced mandatory mental rest time in between innings.

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

@larrynstafford @astros

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

@Steven_B_90

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

@TheAstrosLocker Right on brother.

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

Back in my day, we didn’t even know what a hamate bone was. We never broke bones cause we all drank milk. These cats nowadays drink soy, almond milk, that skimmish stuff. That aint no help for bones. These bones made of eggshells

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

@BNightengale Pops used to say the only advice a man needs is from the Bible. These cats nowadays are barely religious. What they call that, non religionational? Well you’re gonna need God to manage these days so somone better get to praying

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

@BNightengale Pops used to say the only advice a man needs is from the Bible. These cats nowadays are barely religious. What they call that, non religionational? Well you’re gonna need God to manage these days so somone better get to praying

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

@SanAntonioTim @AstrosFan86

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

@BLima790 You know it!

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

@SnowBlackLamont Can’t stretch out that arm if you yank em before the fans have gotten their first beer

[OldTimeHardball @OleTimeHardball]

Rickey Henderson is on 1B, and he’s looking to run. You can have any Catcher from any era try and gun him down.

Who gets the nod?

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

@BenOndaTop

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

@BBGreatMoments Martin Maldonado maybe the only cat who could do it

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

He’s in My Hall of Fame. I don’t have a book book but a book nonetheless. Might be a binder cause I left all my contacts in Cincinnati once and Bronson Arroyo used to prank call Tony LaRussa

[MLB Hall of Pretty Good @hallofgoodpod]

🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨

Martín Maldonado has officially retired and is now Hall of Pretty Good eligible

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

@LeftyTravis My man

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

@YankeeWRLD Back in my day we didn’t have K zones or magic boxes, just eyes and intuition. I told my guys, if you want to get rung up, just stand there. Walks clog the bases anyway

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

Pops used to say ride the horse that got you there. The Lone Ranger never changed horses. Ever remember Lassie being recast? Just not enough Mark Priors or Johan Sanatanas anymore

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

@BenOndaTop Destiny is a fickle thing. Pops told me I had a responsibility to pass on this knowledge. So the folks in my orbit have all benefited from my destiny and now they have destinies too. When you have so many destinies one is bound to hit red

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

@michaelschwab13 It’s hard to go to War without your best guns. Edwin Starr, who I met once in Cleveland, said War what is it good for. I told him War vanquishes the enemy and he came back with “what if the enemy is your brother” and well I haven’t been the same since

[Dusty’s Lessons of Life @DustyLessons]

@HtownWheelhouse @astros This is why I’m not big on pinch hitters. LaSorda would keep the bench guys loose by turning off the locker room AC before the game.