Dylan Marfleet

The roof is not my son, but I will raise it.

[Dylan Marfleet @Dyllpickle16]

I can’t believe WalMart still doesn’t have the Tap To Pay feature on their pinpads like some kind of prehistoric ass hats.

[Connor Halley @ConnorHalley]

Celine always makes it better

[James 🔥 @JamesJohnsonYYC]

PUT A 25% TARIFF ON THAT L BUDDY @realDonaldTrump 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦

[Stoolies Clubhouse 🏴‍☠️ @StooliesClub]

This is the funniest snl skit I’ve seen in a long time!

[Fascinating @fasc1nate]

On March 18, 1944, 27-year-old Aimo Koivunen and his Finnish ski unit were in Lapland, Finland's northernmost region, when they were attacked by superior Soviet forces. Forced to retreat through deep snow, Koivunen found himself exhausted.

He remembered he had a supply of Pervitin, an early form of crystal meth used in World War 2. Unable to open just one pill while skiing away, he swallowed all 30 pills. This gave him an immediate burst of energy, allowing him to outpace the Soviets and his unit, before passing out.

When he woke up, he'd covered 100 kilometers (62 miles) alone and high, without food or ammunition. He kept skiing, encountering Soviets multiple times but always escaping, even after an injury from a landmine.

He travelled 400 kilometers (250 miles) to reach Finnish territory. Upon arrival, he weighed only 94 pounds and his heart raced at 200 beats per minute. He survived until age 71, dying in 1989.

[zach @zjlaing]

no, i’m not.

i’m laughing about the fact that suncor is slashing 1500 jobs and trying to pin it on fiscal health when they posted $2.05-BILLION in profit in q1 this year.

i’m laughing at the fact that it happened three days after the ucp got re-elected and that it’s going to just be shrugged off. can you imagine the reaction to this if the ndp were elected? my god! people would be frothing at their mouths.

wasn’t the upc’s eight percent corporate tax rate supposed to attract business and allow it to be easier for them to operate in alberta? all alberta got was the wool pulled over our eyes with the rich getting richer and thousands losing their jobs. https://t.co/aT9OpcQbRl

[Ross McCulloch @Rossmac212]

The old woman finally lost her patience😂

[Jonathan Willis @JonathanWillis]

My favourite thing about the rumours is that Puljujarvi's coming off the same kind of scoring as Kassian was when he got extended.

Except of course that Puljujarvi consistently drives play, Kassian never did, we're talking a '2nd or 3rd' in return and Kassian was 5 years older.

[manny @mannyfidel]

it's the remix to ignition, gonna die in this prison

[Dylan Marfleet @Dyllpickle16]

When I first got a dog, I figured “sit” or “come” would be what I ended up saying the most. It turns out “we don’t eat poop” is the runaway in that department.

[Dylan Marfleet @Dyllpickle16]

@Charlesthe4rth @basswindumusic He’s right, I’ve still never tried it.

[Sky News @SkyNews]

Calling a man bald is sexual harassment, employment tribunal rules https://t.co/ZrdreW8pb6

[Barney Panofsky's Best Intentions @mynamesnotgordy]

Messing with Terry Fox’s memory and legacy tells us everything we need to know about you.

[Jim Watson @JimWatsonOttawa]

Ottawa Police have confirmed cars parked on the grounds of the national Cenotaph have been removed. Parking on this sacred ground that includes the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier was a sign of complete disrespect.

[Mikal… @Tea_Moo_Salami]

Kodak Black watching hockey like https://t.co/J9rCIc36Tx

[Courtney Theriault @cspotweet]

Anyone know what time the anti-seatbelt protest is happening outside of the Jiffy Lube?

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

Play of the day…

[kodiiaakk @kodakwhack]

Fuck yeah @lyft