Dave Floyd

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

If you're a jr. your mom has moaned your name before.
Have a good day!

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

Apparently, asking a pretty girl in the tampon section if she would like to go on a date in about 5-7 days isn't appropriate...

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

If the person driving slow in front of you has a Baby on Board sign on their car but the sign is faded, that means the kid is a few years old now and that car is safe to ram.

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, l've likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

MY WIFE SAID THAT IF I DON'T GET OFF MY COMPUTER AND HELP WITH THE DISHES, SHE'LL SLAM MY HEAD ON THE KEYBOARD, BUT I THINK SHE'S JOKINDSG67SGHI3DHGJ RE7490DNDWHK3-2J4H37SHDUDKIJI SD877HR8SK020A3Y3H3J3UHU338JE
SU83J8R

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

The problem with stealing quotes off the Internet is you never know if they are genuine.

~ Abraham Lincoln

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

@jasminlaine I can’t. I gotta work in the morning.

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

I just blocked someone on my page for correcting my grammar and it feeleded good.

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

@TrumpsHurricane Do you want fries with that?

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

@BennySellick @PierrePoilievre Yes, Juno News is above CBC.

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

The Climate Change hoax vanished the moment companies needed data centers.
Yeah, we noticed.

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

@Concern70732755 1

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

@AntiLeftMemes No

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

Sick to death of people knocking on my door for donations. Just had a woman from the sperm bank - boy, did I give her a mouthful!

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

@wealthmoose 🟥 NO

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

@JayGenXer Does Howdy Doody have wooden balls?

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

@MarcNixon24 Several Canadian polling firms receive funding from the Canadian government. This is meant to mold public opinion, not mirror it.

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

Wait a minute...starfish have their mouths at the center of their body & mermaids use starfish as bras. What kind of sneaky shit is this!!!

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

I wonder if the people paying $300 for a colon cleanse even know about Taco Bell's $4.99 deal

[Dave Floyd @Dynamite_Floyd]

@MarilynGladuSL https://t.co/0aiTDLrFKs

[JohnnyD @John0Vision]

Another piggy crosses the floor.