@JaredKushnersEyebrows

Parody account to entertain those against nonelected slumlord son-in-laws who feign business acumen and lack a human soul

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

Vote Trump Out

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

They got my eyebrows wrong.

[Rudy Frimmel @morningj]

@E1Jared @jaredkushner

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

The Pences will never compete with the Trumps and Kushners. They are ordinary whack jobs without Ivy League degrees. Here, Mother emulates the hair of our cult but no makeover will help her. #PencePuppets #AuntLydiaClone

[Mystery Solvent @MysterySolvent]

What is Mother Pence’s haircut called?

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

@AmberKrystle1 Those animals got paid to donate their organs! What are you a tree hugger?

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

@AmberKrystle1 gets it wrong! I do not use ceseñibe, I use unrefined coconut oil for all by beauty needs. And I AM TOO a grown up boy, Ivanka says so.

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

@AmberKrystle1 Amber, oh my, this made my day!

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

Do people realize @E1Jared is a PARODY account? The silver spoon header picture should give it away. I mean, I like being tweeted at, but not like this. I agree Kushner is dangerous. His eyebrows and cheekbones are, however, fabulous.

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

@imaraesque I own it and have watched at least 100 times

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

I can assure you this is not true. I would never wear a Rolex. I wear Patek Philippe. The finishes are more refined, like my eyebrows and cheekbones. @PaulRudnickNY

[Paul Rudnick @PaulRudnickNY]

Having seen Trump's poll numbers, Ivanka and Melania have started desperately seeking new husbands, both agreeing the Pope is, in Melania's words, "Rich, single and available." As he walked by, Ivanka whispered to His Holiness, "Do you need a pre-owned Rolex?"

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

I've been very quiet lately because it seems crass to joke in such dark times. So, in all seriousness, register to vote and be kind. Read Mary Trump's book. My wedding to Ivanka is mentioned! And Mary, like many in the family, understands Donald is a badly damaged mass murderer.

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

Isn't she beautiful? She took time from her busy day to help a business maligned by the crazy left. Hysteria is hurting business! Stop!

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

If I read this illuminating thread I'll be a historian!

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

My hair needed a trim then I believe. COVID 19 has hampered my grooming routines. I need a haircut at least every 30,000 US deaths.

[Richard Hine @richardhine]

Bookmarking this too. April 29: more than 1 million US cases. More than 59,000 dead. Jared Kushner says we’re on the “other side of the medical aspect” and it’s all been a huge success. #coronavirus

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

Sometimes I like to give the spotlight to Ivanka even though she did not go to Harvard. She did go to Choate, and Georgetown, and finally Wharton like her daddy. We both will be granted exemptions from this executive order, you'll be glad to know.

[The Hill @thehill]

.@IvankaTrump: "The President will shortly be signing an executive order directing federal agencies to start hiring based on skills and competency rather than outdated degree requirements."

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

Has anyone else noticed how much my love, Ivanka, is starting to resemble Melania? I think Ivanka would make a lovely FLOTUS. By the transitive property that makes me POTUS!! I learned math at Harvard.

[Paul Rudnick @PaulRudnickNY]

"Workforce explicability will be contra-ionized by my deremulated multi-zone bendboard initiative. Betsy DeVos and I discussed this over brunch, saved America and drabble-crafted our national task-menu and salad bar"

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

It takes a ski village resort to do the work of government. It really does, @ProjectLincoln; do not underestimate our resolve to maintain the lucrative nature of law & order

[The Lincoln Project @ProjectLincoln]

Does @realDonaldTrump even tweet for himself anymore? Who runs his account? #TrumpIsUnwell

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

@nixw20 gold coins, eviction notices, tweezers for my eyebrows, the book How to Make Friends and Influence Others

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

Geez. I like you too @mmpadellan

[BrooklynDad_Defiant!☮️ @mmpadellan]

Jared Kushner is a silver spoon, slumlord millionaire with rat-infested properties who couldn't even fill out his security forms properly, how is he being put in charge of racism lmaoooo

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

Check this out too https://t.co/PusCWiGZxs

[@JaredKushnersEyebrows @E1Jared]

Some people just can't accept a 'Mission Accomplished!' Note the authority with which I deliver the message. My eyebrows are groomed to express confidence and empathy. I don't understand naysayers. https://t.co/w1dqNHGwwV