mosteligiblebachelor

throwaway acc

[gothmilk @GothMilk333]

thats why whores are cool to hangout with. talking to them is like talking to 12 of your closest buddies at once because their cum is probably floating in her spinal fluid.

[Dan Robinson @danrobinson]

That depressing feeling when your AI research project doesn't trigger a downgrade from Fable and you realize you're not on the frontier

[scar @imfat]

study why successful people cut ties with family

[Mason Hughes @msnrhu]

The sooner I get the Porsche the better for my mental health

[owl @owl_posting]

i met a billionaire for the first time last year. he was incredibly, incredibly depressed. he told me he'd give up every dollar, every drop in his bank accounts, if he could eat some jam-on-toast just one more time, with flaky salt and black pepper sprinkled on top. salt and pepper? with jam? i questioned. yes, the billionaire replied, thick tears pouring down his eyes, they go surprisingly well with each other. i asked what is stopping him from making one right now. he gasped, a syrupy burst of air erupting from his mouth, and dashed to the kitchen. he emerged a few minutes later, lips jam-coated, triumphantly chomping on the exact meal he just described

[G-Block 🅱️aby @motionsznn]

Bringing her food while she’s doing her hair at the saloon requires serious aura farming

[That Rabbit Guy @Son_ImSleep]

Your man went to the jeweler 8 times to finish paying off his AP, I was in and out same day. Choice is yours ma

[mayo @mayohiga1]

does something change in your brain when you become a parent that allows you to tolerate the sound of children crying or are you all just fuckin miserable

[Elliot Mellinger @elliotmellinger]

Pausing my music at the gym to listen to chicks moaning during their ab workout

[𝓐𝔂𝓸✯ @shefwayo]

making money to be free dawg, not to impress no mf, broke days taught me enough

[Reads with Ravi @readswithravi]

This sentences by Van Gogh hits hard:

“If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is a grass in the beginning.”

[Travis “Panic” Mathew @trav_mathew]

I hate when I open YouTube before going to bed and it’s straight grey loot

[tolks @_tolks]

it's perfect man, i could cry

[Neet @neet_sol]

how it feels to make money while unemployed

[𝒵𝒾𝓀✯ @_Gottalovezik]

Congratulations on working 40 hours! You are now free to dissociate for 2 days

[noir_aquamarine🐟🗽 @cloutastral]

hearing about gas prices as a carless walkcel

[Natural Philosophy @Naturalphilosy]

“He who jumps into the void owes no explanation to those who stand and watch.”

— Jean-Luc Godard

[🥢 @CHOPSTIIIIX]

One of the reason wealthy people try to keep their kids away from less privileged people’s kids is usually not because they don’t have money, anyone can get rich, anybody can make money… it’s usually because of the mentality… you see, a poor mind is destined to self destruct.

[Neet @neet_sol]

"Can you explain the gap in your resume?"

Yeah that was the only time I actually enjoyed life