Captain Trips

Whatever you do, take care of your shoes.

[Captain Trips @EHeffrey]

You see this @darrenrovell

[ESPN @espn]

The courtside seat that Taylor Swift sat in during Game 3 of the Eastern Conference finals between the New York Knicks and the Cleveland Cavaliers has been listed for auction.

Swift attended the game with her fiancé, Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce.
https://t.co/HSqfVUxNUO

[Captain Trips @EHeffrey]

@TommyBeer Offensive foul on Mitch

[Captain Trips @EHeffrey]

@EmersonLotzia with the Finals appearance! #DraftKings

[Captain Trips @EHeffrey]

@RyanPBoyer Lollipops. Cherry vs raspberry. God forbid I choose incorrectly. It’s like Indiana Jones with the holy grail.

[Mike Levin @MikeLevin]

This New York Times piece is worth your time. Here’s what is happening, as simply as I can put it.

Back in January, Trump sued the IRS, an agency he controls, demanding $10 billion over the leak of his tax returns a number of years ago.

IRS lawyers did their jobs. They wrote a memo laying out the defenses that could beat the suit, including the fact that Trump filed too late. His own lawyer was in court when the leaker pleaded guilty in October 2023, more than two years before Trump sued.

The Justice Department never showed up to court. Never argued back. Never used the defenses sitting on their desk.

The judge got suspicious and ordered both sides to explain whether they were actually opposing each other or just colluding. The day before that brief was due, Trump dropped the suit.

Same day, his Justice Department announced a $1.776 billion taxpayer-funded “anti-weaponization fund.” 

Trump gets a formal apology. The IRS agrees to drop any audits of him and his family, even though a 2024 Times report found a loss in an ongoing audit could cost him over $100 million.

The acting Attorney General, Trump’s former criminal defense attorney, picks the five commissioners who decide who gets paid. Trump can fire any of them. Proud Boys and Oath Keepers are not ruled out.

This is the most corrupt thing I’ve ever seen from an American president.

Where in the hell are my Republican colleagues?

https://t.co/La0nlLuz1r

[Captain Trips @EHeffrey]

@stoolpresidente Magic city

[Captain Trips @EHeffrey]

@ConcernedApe will there be a physical version of Stardew valley switch 2?

[Captain Trips @EHeffrey]

@darrenrovell I miss stump the Schwab

[Captain Trips @EHeffrey]

@danabeers I see you

[Captain Trips @EHeffrey]

@TheSteinLine Why didn’t they review for flagrant foul?

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

Trump is so idiotic it is beyond description even for the guy who wrote PET SEMATARY and MISERY.
I can’t even.

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

We sure this will bring down gas prices??

[Captain Trips @EHeffrey]

@AmericanOutlaws Jerseys tough to tell apart on TV

[Jon Favreau @jonfavs]

Yes, sir - when are you going to stop fucking America so hard?

[DRUSKI @druski]

How Conservative Women in America act 😂🇺🇸

[Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski]

Trump said Iran had until 7:44 PM to open Hormuz or he would bomb power plants.

Iran said it would bomb desalination plants in response.

Iran still refuses to open the Straits.

Trump announces he will not bomb power plants, citing “peace talks.”

Iran denies peace talks.

[Jürgen Nauditt 🇩🇪🇺🇦 @jurgen_nauditt]

Do you have a ticket for the World Cup in the USA?

Sell it.

[Captain Trips @EHeffrey]

@FeitsBarstool Thirsty just watching that

[Captain Trips @EHeffrey]

@danabeers Husker power!

[Captain Trips @EHeffrey]

@BarstoolBigCat Rocky road forever