The Electric Rooster

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

Coming home to no Samantha and no Niña dog makes you realize how boring it must be to be single.

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

Just had some dude try to sell me “gold” jewelry in a gas station parking lot. Shady neighborhoods are always interesting.

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

I could get ax murdered in front of Niña and she wouldn’t bark once but when she’s asleep, she will bark her ass off at imaginary problems.

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

NET live is broadcasting a polka concert from Ord Nebraska and it is lit af🔥🔥🔥🔥

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

Upon my arrival at work, I was handed a burrito and .45 pistol. It’s goin to be a weird day.

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

Sometimes I think about my life when I look at my wife and think “thank god being a good judge of character was never her strong suit”.

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

A bedroom pillow makes a pretty formidable defensive weapon. #thisismarrage

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

Today I learned, if you’re being chased by your wife while she snaps two pairs of tongs at you in a menacing fashion...

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

Dear @sprint,

No one wants your janky bullshit.

Sincerely,
-Everyone

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

Lil Wayne looks homeless.

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

The dentist. Where you pay money and take time out of your day to be yelled at by a grown man for not flossing.

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

I’m always happy when someone tells me their vegan
Less meat eater=less demand
Less demand= cheaper meat
Cheaper meat= more meat
#Thanks

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

What’s the most hurtful thing you can say to a midwestern woman? Tell her that her casseroles are mediocre.

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

So this just happened and for a second I thought the nukes were coming

[Because I'm a Guy @CauseWereGuys]

Why not edit out the cat? https://t.co/a7fo0uMzXv

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

Good decisions come from experience, experience comes from bad decisions.

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

Rest In Peace with the rest of the metal greats #VinniePaul

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

Dear #VinniePaul, you were one of a handful of drummers who made me want to play. I hope there’s a heaven, and I hope Dime is there.

[The Electric Rooster @EHuryta]

@Seritter ha ya don’t say