Ejiro

Gram: @RHO_XX

[Harmless @HarmlessHQ]

It is very simple here in Rivers State.

For starters, you should get at least 5 well starched white senator wears in your wardrobe.

Create a very strong nickname, very rare and intriguing one. Something like Anefreke of Okirika.

Then, form any useless organisation and award yourself some titles. Something like Ambassador of youth wetin wetin. You'll have to add these titles to your name and make it long.

Then, go ahead and create a movement. Something like, "A worldwide forum for the emancipation of the Niger Delta Youths."

With this, you can now add "convener of so so movement" to your name and use it to claim ownership of structure during political meetings.

Sell your family land and buy 2005 corolla. This would be very helpful to increase your status at the bargaining desk.

Anytime you receive calls, don't tell the person you're in Okirika, Etche, Enohua, or Ikwerre. Tell them you're in Portharcourt always. You have a meeting with SSA on whatever portfolio. The local politicians would start taking you seriously and some strong stakeholders would start approaching you for your support.

With this, you're set as a politician.

And don't forget, make sure you're always carrying 2 to 3 phones at all times and while in any meeting with some leaders, tell 4 to 5 of your friends to call you for any reason you can create. They need to know that you're a busy person.

[ًyeray•♡ @yerayherr]

lo que espero que suceda con un ayuno de 24 horas

[𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐊𝐔 @puffypearl]

Finding out I can no longer “suck Belle” post pregnancy has left me sad and confused.

Like it’s physical impossible to do it anymore

It’s like I no longer have muscles in my stomach 🥺😭

[Jola @Jollz]

Need a quick $75,000

[Deisine @TDeisine]

Another day to remember that my mum and dad separated, mum left with us and my dad removed our names as dependents from his health insurance scheme. My mum not knowing, took my convulsing sister with her last money to the hospital only to receive the rude shock of us not being beneficiaries.

She trekked home with a convulsing child on her back, funny my sister woke up and is still alive today.

A woman without her own money will suffer. PS: dont talk to me about marrying a kind man

[Ejiro @EJayGwen]

@Daammiiee

[tido bling @tiido_bling]

You really gotta run a strict program or your life will be a circus

[Efrebor 🌈💞 @wickedsous]

Just went through Sandra Edohos Instagram and sorry she’s too cool for Frank anyways lmao

😭🤚🏽

[SPUNKY ✨ @yosii_OG]

Too many raves, make person no go join cult by mistake 😂

[Sheni Coker @sheni_coker]

"You too like amebo". My dear, that's my primary reason for joining twitter. That's what i am here for.

[Udokamma's Beiby💕 Has Her PVC @flyingbeso]

As a Nigerian woman from an average background, your backup plan cannot be marriage. It's like building a house in a water-logged land. It will sink. Fight tooth and nail to make something of yourself. Leave an imaginary man out of it.

[Excel @Excelchuks_]

I don’t know if it’s me, but I see nothing wrong with an insurance company marketing funeral insurance.
And “do you want to kill the other one too?” Sounds like how Nigerians react when they’re asked to prepare their will.

[Mr Melancholy @chakravartiiin]

Everybody realised they are too broke for a world war so they just decided to quit midway.

[Jed 🇬🇧 @TigersJUK]

Been watching Dinosaurs on Netflix.

There’s no possible way they know half this shit about dinosaurs. Found some bones in the ground & they know which ones used to a mating dance 245 million years ago?

[sweetie ❤️‍🔥 @cwtyp]

We don’t have the technology for strapless bras yet

[Tolulope, the Unstoppable. @thedigitamaven]

Life would be 10x better if rice was protein.

😔

[Nacer Reloaded @MovieAddicttt]

Because the plumber cooked

[Bitto Keren K Esq. @KerenKBitto]

🤭congratulations on your marriages in advance.

I am a lawyer well versed & skilled in marriage dissolution & judicial separation processes.

I believe a lot of you will need my services after you rush into “miracle marriages”. I am happy to offer them to you.

Hallelujah!

[A Man Has No Name 🇳🇬 @Despicable_Them]

Fast forward to some months later, we wonder why Spotify have blocked Nigerians access to it. You guys irritate me so much man

[King Dom @enyonvm]

When I hear crying at night and I'm silently hoping it's my husband that has broken his leg and not my baby that's awake again