it’s breast cancer awareness month and even tho mom wants me to be the one in the spotlight, i gotta shine a light on the strongest woman i know. an inspiration to me to keep growing, as she does even at a later stage in life. a woman who stands on fcking business and raised me to be the man i am. for ppl who know that feeling of getting that difficult news, keep ur mf head up. keep love around u at all time. real love. i wanna tell yall one thing.. a lot u see / meet my mom on tour, and nothing makes that woman happier than seeing yall excitement during the shows. tour starts a week from today and u damn right she’s gonna be there in NYC. yall are always so respectful so i don’t gotta remind u guys… but just know, YOU have made such an impact on her. it’s tour time momma pack ya bagsssss !!!!! love u guys so fcking much.
to my community:
good morning guys. it’s time to be honest about something.. this past monday i found out that i have bilateral carpal tunnel, atleast that’s what i gathered from the clinical notes left by the doctors. i have a follow up appointment with my neurologist on november 2nd but the truth is.. idk if i can deal with this for that long and it scares me.
i’ve worked really hard to build this community and be there for you guys because so many of you need me to be but i can’t be anymore. it’s impossible for me to stream at the rate i used to or game at the rate i used to. around 3am this morning, i experienced a really bad CTS flare up. my right arm felt like it was on fire, numb and tingling. i accidentally fell asleep without my wrist splints because i was so exhausted. and that one little mistake caused a really bad panic attack. i cried for an hour straight, paced around my room, and was rocking back in forth on my bed at the end of it. i don’t like that for myself but that’s the reality of everything.
i’m too exhausted to do anything. working two jobs kills every ounce of energy and mental capacity i have. i try my best to still be present in my friends’ lives but i can’t be. not as much as i want to be. and i’m so sorry to all of you. my life is completely ruined and i don’t know what to do.
i love all of you and i really hope that soon i wont have to live everyday in pain. i hope that soon i wont have to work two jobs just to survive. i love you guys so much, thank you all for everything you’ve done for me. i will try my best to possibly stream later today but i am really limited with what i can do/play so please bare with me🤍