Elizabeth Parsons

Oh you can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks. Yes, you can stare into the abyss, but it's staring right back.

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

Oh so I can’t splash around in my pool til 10 am, but construction next door can start at 7:30?

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

At a light- got called a bad driver with a shitty car AND ‘MAD ugly’ for not driving up one car length and getting stuck in an intersection in Southie. Must be so tough being a widdle boy with a widdle car.

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

realizing the ‘movie theater’ popcorn taste is just, old popcorn.

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

why in the actual fuck do I owe ANYONE money after i got in a car accident?! Should I have just driven through the old woman who blew a stop sign? Is manslaughter cheaper?

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

on being an adult-
I went to the grocery store yesterday and couldn’t find the scallions so I CALLED MY MOM to ask her where they were, confirmed they were out and drove to my parents house and took her scallions.

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

just watched a downstairs neighbor throw cigarette butts back up to upstairs neighbors porch & I am living for this passive aggressive drama

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

at the age where I don’t even need anything from customer service I just want someone to listen to me complain

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

Bring these back.

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

so why is it that everyone forgot how to drive this week?

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

why is it that acqua di gio has a scent trail radius of 3.5 miles

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

all those who dare cross my path in this humidity shall fear me

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

if this rain doesn’t let up there’s about to be another pandemic across the Christmas Tree Shops of Cape Cod

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

how is it that I’m an air sign with an irrational fear of wind?

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

this guy helped me lift something out of my car and fumbled with his side almost dropping it and said “woah, careful!” to me

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

I was putting my ankle socks over my leggings like a cool kid and the flashback of stirrups I just got 😅 tell me we won’t see those again my arches can’t take it.

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

Why is a line for anything is the most hostile place on earth?

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

overheard in CVS ‘yeah you wouldn’t think a guy like me with 3 tattoos would be doing this’ administering shots.

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

yeah the job claims are low bc we all ran out of unemployment 😂👍🏼

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

the raging anxiety the Captain of the ship blocking the freaking Suez Canal must be feeling WOOF

[Elizabeth Parsons @EParsons15]

FBI tv show on CBS has some serious flaws there’s no way a “google search of S name buildings” around DORCHESTER would take you to a SAINT Mary’s in Weymouth