EDgnome

Truth is stranger than fiction. Workaholic, Game of Thrones nerd.

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Doc:”Y r u here?”
Pt: “I think my Chlamydia is back”
Doc: “Did it take a vacation?”
🙄🙄🙄🙄

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Doc:”Do u have an inhaler?”
Pt:”No but I have a BENEVOLIZER”
Doc:”Holy breathing treatment”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Doc:”Open your mouth”
Pt:”Aaaaah”
Doc:”Looks good”
Pt:”Did you see any HIV?”
😳😳😳😳😳

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Bro wished for a bigger dick and he got it

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Doc:”What are you taking for your diabetes?”
Pt:”Nothing but I drink vinegar when it’s over 400”
😳😳😳😳😳

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Pt:”It’s my gallbladder”
Doc:”What’s wrong with it?”
Pt:”It’s in a gray area”
😳😳😳😳

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

RN:”Y r ppl with chest pain ok with being told that everything is normal but pts with abdominal pain get mad when they’re told the same?”
Doc:”Good observation, idk either but now my belly hurts”
🤣🤣🤣

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Doc:”Your HCG is 1, you’re not pregnant”
Pt:”That’s wrong, my doctor says I’m 5% pregnant”
😳😳😳😳😳

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Pt:”I passed out”
Doc:”How long were you out?”
Pt:”Not long, I did CPR on myself by thrusting my body back and forth until I woke up”
😳😳😳😳😳

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Pt:”Idk who the daddy is so I need a DNA test”
Poss Baby Daddy:”I talked with the other dawg and he’s not sure if he nutted in her or not”
🤮🤮🤮🤮

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

RN:”What makes u think this 80 yr old lady needs a psyche evaluation”
Son:”She keeps saying “Pound me””
😳😳😳😳

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Doc:”Do you need a work excuse note”
Pt: ”Yes”
Doc:”What work do you do”
Pt:”I Door Dash”
😳😳😳😳😳

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Diagnosis of the day : “Tachydermia”
😳😳😳😳😳

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Doc:”Your labs are normal. I think this is a viral infection”
Pt:”I disagree. My doctor checked me and told me my tests were negative for all the viral infections”
🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Pt:”A hammer fell on my head”
Doc:”Your CT is normal”
Pt:”Why is my head hurting?”
Doc:”Coz a hammer fell on your head”
😜😜😜

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Doc:”Did u really swallow a penny the way you swallow food?”
5 YO: “No, I swallowed it like I swallow pennies”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Medical flight:”Coming in hot with a GSW to abdomen”
Charge RN: “Hey y’all we got a helicopter coming in lights and sirens with a GSW”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Community Hospital
ED director:”I heard u resuscitated a baby in L&D”
Doc:”Baby b dead if I wasn’t there”
EDD:”Our malpractice insurance doesn’t cover things outside the ED”
Doc:”Some things are worth the risk”
💪💪💪

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Pt:”I think I’m allergic to the sun”
Doc:”Good thing you’re not allergic to the moon or you can’t get out”
😜😜😜😜

[EDgnome @ERgnome]

Doc:”What medical problems do you have?”
Drunk:”I have See yo pee pee(COPD)”
🤣🤣🤣🤣