Having my television high on the wall makes me feel like a child again, sitting on my bed, looking up at it while laughing while I was unaware of the horrors of this world.
I like to think that you all secretly hate me but don't wanna tell me so you replace "I hate you" with "I think you're cool"
!!
Sorry to those I've angered I'll be gone soon
And I guess I just think about how my mom saw new cuts and didn't exactly try to find what I used or threaten to send me somewhere, I hate it when she does that but at least I knew she cared enough to do those things
Now I think she gave up on me
I would too.
It's funny because no matter how much I say I never enjoyed talking, I open my stupid mouth, I type these meaningless words. I feel so obligated yet nobody is forcing me to do anything
I just wish I could disappear.
I can't even lie properly about how I feel
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah"
Nothing happened to me there shouldn't be anything wrong
I can't even make full sentences in messages
I have to go
I never liked talking in general, it was always so troublesome. if I do survive, I think I'll just stop.
The words that leave my mouth aren't worth being heard by those who will never understand.
"but realistically, can I?" Is the best thing I've ever asked because everything I try, no matter how hard I try, no matter how many calculations I do, nothing ever works
Not even just killing myself just in general
So realistically, can I?
I think I'm going to do it this time.
I've been so scared all my life but now I know I have no real meaning or aspirations.
They'll be upset at first but they will move on and be happy once again.
It truly is just a cycle.