ESELGEIST

I TWEET BECAUSE I CARE.

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SOMETIMES I TWEET LIKE A MOTHERLESS CHILD, A LONG WAY FROM HOME.

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YMCA YMCA YMCA #swimlikeyoustoleit #flipflopsmandatory

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YFW MFW YF IS MAD

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I HAVE NYANED FOR 217.4 SECONDS! http://t.co/qUhOIuL via @nyannyancat

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LATEX, LATEX EVERYWHERE. #sexforbreakfast

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SNOWBEEST SURROUNDING THE HOUSE. I HAVE NAILED BOARDS ACROSS THE WINDOWS AND SAWED OFF MY SHOTGUN. THE SNOW IS OUT THERE HOWLING.

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MONKEYS CLINGING ON THIS TUMBLING ROCK, SQUABBLING AND FUCKING, IMPRESSED BY THE SMELL OF OUR OWN FARTS; AS IF IT MATTERS TO THE VOID.

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TWO GIRLS SHARING EARBUDS ONE SAYING SHE SEXTING HER DJ BOYFRIEND WHILE HE WAS WORKING A SHOW #damnkids

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THE BEATLES ARE OKAY I GUESS. THE SONGS ARE KINDA CATCHY.

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STRAWBERRY RHUBARB PIE #nom #allinmymouth

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SRSLY WTF GREEN TEA MINTS ARE DIABOLICAL SPEED CRACK #OMG #OMFG #CAFFEINE

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THREE GREEN TEA MINTS = ONE CUP OF GREEN TEA. I HAVE EATEN A DOZEN AND I'M TWITCHING #OMG #HALP

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INTERNET ALERT: MY LIBIDO REMAINS INTACT. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS. #sore #facedownassup

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I AM EATING THAT DAMN TASTY SWEDISH IKEA LINGONBERRY JAM ON FRESH PITA BREAD. GLOBALISM IN MY MOUTH, BITCHES.

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OK TOTALLY EATING POPCORN NOW. THIS IS THE BEST DECISION I'VE MADE ALL WEEK.

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I'M GONNA TWEET LIKE IT'S Y2K Y'ALL. SERIOUS SHIT. I JUST MADE SOME TEA, MIGHT EAT POPCORN, TOO. BRACE YOURSELF FOR FUTURE UPDATES.

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I AM SURROUNDED BY CATS

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I REQUIRE AN ASSORTMENT OF CHEESES :|

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GOING TO THE ICA TONIGHT, FREE ADMISSION MEANS I GET TO MOCK WHAT I SEE WITHOUT GUILT :D

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SRS SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN. LAWD GIMMIE STRENF.